Miscellaneous

Original Songwriting: Embracing Pain and Love Forever

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Sometimes, the muse strikes at the most interesting times. I found myself awake at 8 am Sunday morning, having woken up from a dream where I was writing a song with someone. The dream I remember…barely. It was a hodgepodge of balconies and bathrooms that never end, a situation where I made a promise to someone, I was in trouble, my heart was broken, someone had stolen something, on the run from the mob or in some kind of Bridgeton reinactment…my heart thinks maybe the latter because I remember dresses and a lot of regency-inspired costumes, but anyway, in the dream, I was writing a song about heartbreak and here’s what I came up with. It might be something, it might be nothing, but I also thought, not bad for someone who wasn’t conscious, hah.
~AJM


Just looking to find the time
to write down these thoughts of mine
but they hurt
they hurt

But pain makes you stronger
regret is for lovers
pain is a testament
that love is forever

So let it rain
so let it rain
so let it rain

Not a Poem – How’s Your January Been??

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January has just been one big suck-fest. Anyone with me?

I have a poem I’ve been working on, but instead of coming together like things usually do, pulling the words out for this one is like trying to pull blood from a stone.

I am on the struggle bus. Physically. Mentally. Creatively. I long for sunny days. And warmth.

I hope everyone else is doing better than me. If you’ve kept up with this blog and my poetry book, you’ll know that Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) hits me big every year. This past month, more so than others.

I take comfort in my light therapy, friends, comedy, and the dogs.

I don’t have anything creative for you today. I’m sorry. But here’s a few dog pics, because dogs are awesome and cute. Bowl is life. ❤️😆 love them. (The chocolate is Koda; the golden, Teddy.)

Some New Changes

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You might have noticed some changes to the blog. I made an impulsive choice tonight and upgraded my blog to premium. After 10 years of blogging content, I can’t believe I still use this site (although not as much as I did several years ago.) So the purpose of this site for me has changed.

When I first created the blog, I wanted to use it as a platform to just keep me writing and I did just that. Several years ago, I started to work on a self-publishing project and I lost heart in it. I started writing movie and TV show reviews, and I decided (although fun), that wasn’t a good use of my time. At some point, I also posted fiction and short stories, but also realized that I’d rather work on longer projects.

So, here we are. Blog version 3.1 or 3.2 or something.

I will continue to blog, but in a limited fashion like I’ve been doing for the past couple of years. And I would like to use this site to promote my novels and other publishable works. (Or I hope to publish!)

This is who I am, and this is where I will stay.

Happy writing everyone!

My Thoughts During a Work-day-Wednesday

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cat-1101867_1280We writers think really bizarre thoughts sometimes. Thoughts that jump from one random subject to the next; pondering how life works, what our characters might be thinking, wondering if the hum of the fluorescent lights is actually harmful to your health. (I think it is!)

Maybe it was in Jennifer Lawson’s Furiously Happy that inspired this internal monologue. It might have been. Anyway, here are some of my crazy thoughts from being bored at work today:

A weird article I read: Man Rescued at Sea Was Suspect In Grandfather’s Slaying. Turns out this young man owns a boat named, “The Chicken Pox,” and his mother who was going to inherit millions of dollars from said Grandpa, was mysteriously lost at sea. ***Feel free to use this one for a story idea.

Asked a women on the phone how she was and I get back: “I’m okay, I have a family.”  Is this an expression somewhere I don’t know about? Except, she seemed so sad when she said it to me.

I. Hate. Small. Talk.

Dead silences make me nervous…and sleepy.

Note to Self: Look up weather, it’s going to rain five days straight.

On that thought, seasonal depression might set in early. Remember to research insurances and psychiatrists in the area.

Space cowboys are kind of an awesome thing.

OR, maybe it’s the hum of electronics that you hear in the silence that makes me nervous…no one around but THE MACHINES.

I think I would have added more, but then I got distracted by story-planning and actual work helping customers.

How was your day? Happy Writing!

Buying Alcohol at 9 in the Morning

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imageThis post isn’t about writing at all, really. It’s not even about alcohol, either.
This summer I turned twenty-eight, (woo me!) but I was having a thought last night, and I have no idea what it means to be a twenty-eight.

Should I feel like an adult? An old lady? Should I just give up all together and realize that being an adult is waay overrated? Hmm. There’s a thought.

Here I am on the brink of thirty, (clearly,) and all I want to do is travel the world, try awesome new food, and adopt a new pet…maybe a rat. It would be cool to have a rodent I could train to do tricks.

Last night, I went to bed at 10pm, and woke up at 8am with Mike this morning. I picked up some things to make enchiladas at Wegmans for dinner tonight, (we here in upstate New York loove our Wegmans), and grabbed some bottles of wine at the nearby liquor store…all before 9am.

Am I getting old?

image

My purse I bought.

I tried shopping last night and I realized I don’t even know whats in any more. I picked out a purse and thought, Oh my God, what if its an old lady purse?!

One of my girlfriend’s assured me that it was definitely not…but I guess my point is, I don’t know who I am anymore. I’m way too old to shop in the juniors section, but I’m too young to graduate to cardigans and carpet bags.

I’m ready for that time where I’m not a jittery twenty-year old trying to figure life out, but I don’t have visions of buying a house, or having kids…yet. I still feel like I haven’t done anything.

I guess it makes sense that I am feeling this way, because I’ll always be a kid a heart. The unconventional sort who likes to wear Jon Snow t-shirts, and Star Wars leggings, (I totally don’t have Star Wars leggings, but now I want some!), and who likes to write notes for stories in the shower on my trusty water-proof notebook.

I want to travel the world in a camper that rocks back and forth on the highway, and I want to drink wine at 10am and eat s’mores for breakfast. I want to listen to music with the windows down, and I want to experience new things, and learn a new language.

I’m too old to sleep till noon anymore, because, let’s face it, when you get older, time is a currency all on its own. But I’m not ready for the white picket fence and suburban neighbors. Who of any of my generation can afford that anyway?

I want to live a life of plenty, and I want to be that crazy neighbor that has painted every side of her house a different color.

I want to celebrate the life of an unconventional and I think we should all cheer to that.
I want to live the creative life that I was meant to…

Because there’s no age-limit for creativity, and I’m completely fine with that!

Hope everyone is having a great Saturday!

Ever Tried an Excercise Ball for a Desk Chair?

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Just wanted to give a shout out to Dainelle Hunter as a quick thank you for the Liebster Award Nomination! Will follow-up with a blog post this weekend when I’ll be able to take the time and write something clever for it. So look for that this Saturday!

img_20160525_185048557.jpgTonight I treated myself to a little shop therapy. I’ve been trying to get healthier this spring and summer, and along that line is being able to sit at my desk for longer periods at a time without being in agony.

After hurting my shoulder/upper back region at work, I’m always sore and achy after sitting down at a desk for eight hours everyday. And thus, I don’t want to sit at my desk at home and write. (Which is a big problem!)

img_20160525_185058155.jpgMy solution: an exercise ball! I didn’t realize until after doing some research, that some employers let you use an exercise ball at work instead of a chair. As the chances of me getting one at work are very unlikely, I thought I’d try it at home.

The idea is that the ball forces you to balance, thus automatically making you sit up straight which strengthens core muscles and your back, (which is everything that I need strengthened.)

It’s not easy to get used to sitting on a ball instead of a chair, so figured I would alternate between the two for a while until I get used to it.

What do you guys think? Ever tried this before?

My Star Wars Obsession and Spoiler Anxiety, (it’s a real thing, people)

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Note: there are no movie spoilers in this, just my silly ramblings about how much of a nerd I am.

I’m sure many of you aren’t aware, but there is a brand new Star Wars out there for your viewing pleasure, and I don’t think enough people are going to see it…I mean, seriously, I think this one is going to flop, people.

tfa_poster_wide_header-1536x864-959818851016 (Laughs). Yeah, right.

Star Wars is everywhere! It was on the sign of our local carpet store when we drove by today; ‘may the floor be with you?’ Seriously?

It was on the Outback-ad I saw a few minutes ago on Facebook; which featured steaks flying at a look-alike Death Star made out of sweet potato.

Last night, it was on the google website when you searched: dare to choose the dark or light side?

img_20151210_133756320.jpgDon’t forget the merchandise: band-aids, toys, coloring books, T-shirts, plushies, mugs, silverware, and ornaments. Star Wars has permeated every corner of our personal galaxy and I’m not sure I was entirely prepared for it.

Originally, Mike and I decided that we would go see Star Wars in I-Max. But, we couldn’t get tickets for opening weekend, so we decided to go the day after Christmas. We wouldn’t have to stand in those long premiere lines, we’d miss the crazy rush, and I was okay with this.

That is…until Star Wars came out yesterday.

Suddenly, Facebook was bombarded with potential spoilers, and I was starting to feel frightened of the people at my work. I heard the words “Star Wars” and I practically ran out of the break room.

Spoilers are something I hate when it comes to any film, but the idea that the surprises in this new movie might get ruined for me, filled me with a new brand of anxiety I didn’t expect.

I had misjudged the hype. Why didn’t I think of this before? Why had I decided to wait? Was I stupid, or something?

I got Star Wars Spoiler anxiety!

I did. Suddenly a week waiting for I-Max felt like years. Was I to assume that I wouldn’t accidentally stumble on a spoiler on google? Or overhear someone in the check out line at the grocery store?  I became nervous, unsettled, and paranoid. I didn’t get on Facebook for a few days.

IMG_20141222_204521260

My R2-D2 plushy. He sits loyally on my desk and guards my laptop from any potential thieves.

I know Star Wars is just a movie, (although part of me dies when I say that), I know there are more important things in the world to worry about…but the fact that I got anxious worrying about Star Wars spoilers is kind of hilarious.

Well, all that got resolved this morning, because Mike and I decided that we would nip the anxiety in the bud, and we went 10am this morning to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens and we loved it. I stretched out on the newly renovated recliner chairs and munched on Cheerios like popcorn.

Really, I told Mike that we were forced to see it, because we were worried about spoilers, and then I laughed like the nerd I am at my accidental pun. Har, har, har. I know, I’m such a dork.

But that brings me to another thing.

My Star Wars spoiler anxiety might have something to do with the Star Wars obsession I’ve developed over the past few months.

It seems like the more silly the merchandise, the more I must have it. I’ve got Star Wars wrapping paper to wrap my presents with this year. I found crayons with colors in it like: outer space, deep space sparkle, tumbleweed, shadow and cadet blue.

I found Star Wars duct tape, (this I reasoned was for projects for gifts, but lets face it, I bought it for myself.)

img_20151213_191720256.jpgI also found a holiday count-down chalk board; I later crossed out holiday and wrote “Star Wars” at the top. Then of course with all this, that doesn’t include the stuffed R2-D2 on my desk, my t-shirts, and posters.

IMG_20151114_203000829IMG_20151114_203017973Did I forget to mention, I ate Star Wars chicken noodle soup for dinner tonight?

Are you guys as obsessed with Star Wars as I am right now? (And please no spoilers if you choose to comment, lets save that for the review I’ll probably post in a few days.)

Happy Weekend, everyone!

Terry Pratchett and Questioning Gender roles in Fantasy Literature

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I’ve been listening to Terry Pratchett’s The Slip of the Keyboard at work recently; it’s basically a collection of essays about his life, writing and his struggles with Alzheimer’s.

pi7KxKpdTIn one of his essays, he mentions how women are portrayed in fantasy. If there is a witch, she is generally evil and crouches around like an old hag, spitting curses at everyone. If she is beautiful, she is seductive, using her sexuality as a means to an end. (I think many Disney villains can be used as an example here: Ursula, Wicked Step Mother, Malificent, etc.)

Gandalf-2On the opposite scale are the Wizards, who are male, wise, and that mentor that most protagonists seek out in times of great peril. Think Gandolf in Lord of the Rings, or Ged in A Wizard of Earthsea.

I guess my question is: Why is this so?

One of my own stories has a witch as its main villain, and I inadvertently made her beautiful, seductive and evil. I did this without thought, yet I’m wondering if this isn’t the time to mix it up a bit? Isn’t it time we had an evil wizard? Or a kind, yet sexy witch, who is not evil?

(J. K. Rowling’s Harry Potter books don’t really count in this musing, I suppose. As plenty of her witches are very nice, beautiful intelligent people. And Voldemort, a.k.a most evil wizard, ever.)

One thing I love about Terry Pratchett’s writing is that he doesn’t write characters that are predictable. Everyone (of the characters I’ve read so far) are unique and one of a kind. They don’t fit a basic formula, and they aren’t comfortable, which is completely fine. By comfortable, I mean you don’t always know what you can expect from them: one minute they might be performing an act of heroism, the next, you might question their sanity a bit.11751426_10203753735158590_4103356951849478425_n

The point: Terry Pratchett creates real characters that don’t fit into the formula of basic hero and that’s fine. (He also made the point that not all best-selling fantasy books are the best written either.)

This is something I agree with. But I guess what gets me is this whole idea of how women are portrayed in Fantasy. If she is a witch in some stories, why do we assume she is evil?

Do we automatically assign gender roles to specific aspects of fantasy? Do we like when witches are evil? Is the old hag expected to bring bad news? Or is this what we’ve just seen time after time, and so, we use examples of literature before us and think: ‘this the way it’s supposed to be.’

Or, if these gender roles are missing in the novel, does that automatically make it more unique than others? Just a thought.

What do you guys think? Any examples you can think of?

Fill in the Blank: What are these two looking at?

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image

I took this at work. The river runs right next to the building and here I found on my lunch break two male mallards sitting looking out towards the water.
It gets me thinking of two old man rocking on a front porch, passing the time away. Or maybe its two young men going: “where did all the females go? Do you see any of them, Henry?” (Because of course Henry is the perfect duck name :p)
Anywho, I thought it was amusing. Some pictures really are worth a thousand words. Comment with your own caption if you like!