Thoughts

Spring Cleaning – About this Blog update and New Header Image

/ Ajmorse / Leave a comment

Doing a bit of spring cleaning on the blog tonight. I realized a few days ago, how much different my blog is now from when I started out.

It seemed to take a while for me to find my niche, and then when I finally realized I was being silly and over-complicating matters, I am happy that I can finally pin down what I want from this blog and what to look for here.

I am a writer, so why not write about what that means to me? My thoughts on being a writer? My struggles: from story writing to finding a bit of creative inspiration…

The world’s the limit, also, I like to write poetry and flash fiction, too! Why do I have to make everything so difficult for myself sometimes?? Sigh.

Here’s the link to my new updated page: About this Blog.

Also, there is a new header image of my favorite books for now. I am still deciding if I want to change it to something different…so that’ll probably be updated soon. Hope everyone is having a great night!

Happy Writing!

Should Old Documents Be Preserved Electronically?

/ Ajmorse / Leave a comment

A few days ago at work, I had the opportunity to work with some very old documents. Usually in data entry, when you have a client that wants something scanned and recorded into a computer system, you have to first prep the documents. This means taking staples out, mending holes in paper with tape, and stamping to make sure no document gets missed.

The documents were over a hundred years old and so, instead of the usual staples we were used to, they had been skewered with metal brackets, and taped and threaded and in our interest in prepping these documents for preservation, we basically had to destroy them.

I felt bad about it, which is why I’m writing about it now. I like to collect antique books, so any document to me that is old and dusty is a treasure, and more than likely full of history of some kind…if not a history of its own.

So, it broke my heart a bit, that in the interest of scanning, and preserving something, (at least technologically,) here we were cutting, tearing, taping, and ripping apart old bindings, and taking apart of a piece of history that seemed better left on its own.

I don’t understand the need to scan something into thin air if you have something to touch and smell, a piece of evidence to a piece of history long forgotten. Now, I’m not saying that these old documents were anything of value, but I feel like anything in the past has at least some value. At least to me.

Many of the documents had been worn down with time, which made them hard to read when you were sitting in front of them, what makes putting them into a computer any better?

Perhaps with more careful prep work, old documents in other companies don’t get the abuse that they did in mine. Maybe they have better tools than we do, I don’t know.

Anyway, it has just been something that has been bugging me the last few days. Call me crazy, but I like antique documents and it kind of broke my heart a bit to see them so mistreated.

Do you think that in the interest of preserving antiques, either documents or something else, that we actually destroy them?

Just something to think about.

Sunday Night Oscars and Writing

/ Ajmorse / Leave a comment

Today was a beautiful day. A balmy 50 degrees and sunny here and definitely not feeling like February. We definitely lucked out this winter…makes me wonder what’s in store for us next year, eh? Flooding? Blizzards?

Anyway, had a successful morning and afternoon. Made some pancakes, bacon, home fries and eggs for brunch today, and while the other half went back to bed with a book, I disappeared into my office for some writing time.

(This is what I was listening to this afternoon while writing).

I’m really enjoying these sunlit, late afternoons to myself lately. There was a nice, cool, clean breeze coming through the window, I had my headphones on blasting some Celtic dance music, and I was transported into a different world. It felt exciting, and sexy and full of adventure.

Finding the moment where you actually feel enveloped in the world you created seems very rare for me lately, and I enjoyed it a lot this afternoon.

Tonight, we are watching the Oscars, although my negative self can’t help but ask every once and awhile: how expensive do you think her dress is? More than all the rents in this building? More than my car? (Money is so depressing, lately.)

Anyway, we are tuning in mostly to see Leo DiCaprio and his nomination in The Revenant, which Mike (the other half,) said was a great film. I have not seen it yet. And while everyone gushes over dresses, and controversial issues, I turn to writing and research.

I’ve been doing that a lot lately, too…story researching! Mike might walk in my office and see me researching sail boats and solar energy, and sub-genres of fantasy. I might look up dresses, (been very obsessed with what my characters are wearing lately.) Today, I was listening to tribal drums.

The world is the limit, and I am very much enjoying the new found passion I have found in my projects. It doesn’t matter if it is different than everyone else…that’s the point!

Hope everyone has a great week! Happy Writing!

Why J. K. Rowling is My Hero

/ Ajmorse / 1 Comment
My much-used Harry Potter books. :P

My much-used Harry Potter books. 😛

The other day I was thinking about how much I admire J. K. Rowling; how I tend to think of her lately as my own creative writing hero, how much I admire her writing style, her books, and her determination.

I admire her because she is such an inspiration. Most of us know her story; she was a single mom living on benefits, and while she was struggling to get by and in the years previous, she created a novel: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone.

She didn’t know what was going to happen, but she had a story that she wanted to tell, characters that she loved and she created a home for them.

I have a friend at work who likes to write like me, and every time I ask him about his story, he gives a sigh of frustration and says that he can’t seem to finish what he has done, and that it’s taken him four years to get a rough draft finished.

“Four years?” I always reply, “It took J.K. Rowling about ten.”

To this he gets a thoughtful expression and then, “I didn’t know that.”

I think a lot of writers put too much pressure on themselves, (myself especially) and we forget that greatness doesn’t happen overnight, it doesn’t always happen to everyone, but if we have a story that we love and that we want to write, we can’t forget that story. We can’t give up on it.

J.K. Rowling is my hero because she didn’t give up on Harry Potter, even though things in life, new jobs, relationships and heartbreak sometimes get in the way. She might have had doubts, she might have thought that it was useless, but she kept writing, and because she kept writing she kept true to herself.

I sometimes forget how empty it feels when a writer doesn’t write. How much of myself I miss when I don’t see my true voice down on the page. (As you might guess, I’m not always the most articulate when it comes to having to explain myself by actually speaking.)

But J.K. Rowling is my hero because she wasn’t afraid to love her characters so much that she took ten years to write their story. She could have forgotten about it, she could have stopped writing – just imagine it: would you want to live in a world where Harry Potter doesn’t exist?

I must admit, I get a bit sick feeling thinking about this…kind of like when people say Star Wars and Star Trek are the same thing (shudders) what a cold a dismal world we would live in!

Anyway, I must mention J.K. Rowling at least once in every other blog post, but I think she is worthy of admiration. She is a great writer, a great story-teller, and an inspiration to anyone that has an idea that we can’t let go.

Keep writing everyone! That’s all we can do!

Feeling a bit Underappreciated Lately

/ Ajmorse / Leave a comment

I’ve been feeling a bit underappreciated at work lately. I understand that things change, you expand, you grow, you quickly learn that an open mind to new things is a productive mind.

However, I feel like there are a few things that a company owes its employees in order to keep those employees happy. Common sense tells me that appreciated employees are loyal employees that stay and work their hardest and grow.

But…not all employers share this sentiment, (I sometimes think there should be more laws to protect employees from a company that abuses its workers, but what do I know, I only do the work,) and it is sometimes difficult to continue on, while someone else is reaping all the benefits.

Story of all our lives, eh?

Anyway, just thought I’d make a list of some key values that I think a company should have to keep healthy, happy and hard-working employees.

Honestly, it is so simple: a good company is like a happy family with everyone doing their job and singing praises until the very youngest, lowest, member of the family, (usually the dog,) receives this praise and takes this encouragement to heart and realizes that they have a place and they will continue to work to keep that place.

A good company has:

  • Strong leadership skills

This is a given really, we are only as good as the management who guides us.

  • Excellent communication

This goes along with the management, usually a good manager is great at communicating things that need to be said to its employees.

  • Organizational Skills

Know what needs to be done, when it should be done. And stick to deadlines when you make them.

  • Respect

Most people learned this in grade school. Have respect for the people who work under you, and you will receive it in return.

It amazes me how easy the simplest values are lost when they really shouldn’t be. And it is really a shame when valuable employees are the ones who suffer for it. I hope everyone has a great night!

Happy Writing!

 

 

Lazy Sunday Sunshine and Writing

/ Ajmorse / Leave a comment

wpid-wp-1429141260673.jpegI think my favorite part of Sundays is waking up when the sun is shining (if it is shining) and basking in the warmth and appreciating God’s gift of life, of love, and comfort, by celebrating it with the one way I know how: by enjoying it!

(And I might note that the above paragraph took me like 5 minutes longer to write then it should have, oh boy!)

I also made me a smoothie this morning, a nice orangey-mango concoction, which I hope will kick-start these missing brain cells and make me feel like I am eating healthier, although I am probably going to eat some leftover pasta for lunch here in a minute.

Not much new going on with me….excited about getting money back for taxes.(Money! What is this money you speak of? What is that?)

I’ve also been trying to work more and more on one of my stories. The story is my science-fiction/fantasy/steam-punk/young adult/dystopian novel, which I hope I can eventually get a rough draft done for it this year. I haven’t quite narrowed it down yet. Can you tell? 😉

This was a story I started back in college, and its taking me a long time to develop the characters, the world, and the plot. (I am still working on all three of these things!)

The point: everyone has their own way of discovering things for their story and their writing, and I am happy that I am slowly finding mine. Slowly but surely. It seems that the majority of my brainstorming and story planning comes from the visual. I’ll write a scene, I’ll type up a character interview, and see what works best from there.

In order for me to see it, I have to write it and what a great way to discover what works and what doesn’t.

(Also, try interviewing your characters if you are having trouble getting to know them. I find that my characters tend to be very mouthy when you ask them questions that make them uncomfortable.)

Hope everyone has a great Sunday!

Happy writing!

 

Things You Should Say to Someone with SAD

/ Ajmorse / Leave a comment

Today was a gloomy day, and as such, today was a tiring day. I’ve taken my vitamin D, and I’ve sat in front of my sun-lamp, and now all there is left to do is to wait until bed-time comes and I can finally close these tired eyes.

wpid-wp-1417145283589.jpegEveryone was grumpy and tired at work today, and the snow on the ground outside marks the first significant snow we’ve gotten all winter. (This might be the main cause of the grumpiness, as no one likes to drive in bad weather!)

I was having a thought about what to write tonight, and mostly what’s been on my mind lately, is my seasonal affective disorder. Most everyone in the north-east gets some kind of winter blues, but those of us with SAD have more of a rough time of it.

I get frustrated because I am very much a different person half of the year, and I miss my full self – that self that really is happy to get out of bed in the morning, is full of energy, laughter, and creative ideas.

In the winter I am this: Tired, distracted, depressed, anxious, spacey, (have trouble concentrating,) and less creative.

I find myself  interacting less, laughing less and struggling with the right words to say in social situations. Most of the time I just want to crawl into bed and watch Netflix, but if I do that, how will I get a chance to write?

Anyway, thought I’d write a list of helpful things you should say to someone with SAD in case you have a friend who’s been down on their luck lately:

  • Hey, the sun’s out! Let’s go for a walk together!

Exercise is a great way to counteract that overall blah-ness. And interacting with a friend is always nice, too.

  • What are you doing this Friday? Want to stay in and order food and watch movies together?

You’ll need the exercise to counteract the take-out, but sometimes a weekend in with a loved one is the perfect cure to a rough week, and some down days. In the end, you just want to feel loved, and feel a sense of security.

  • (To a girlfriend). Want to go get our hair done together? Want to get a new outfit to wear?

Course, I suppose, a guy could go shopping with you, too! Feeling good about yourself, and confident in how you look has a big impact on how you feel.

  • I see you had a bad day, anything I can do to help?

Sometimes those bad days happen, and sometimes you do want to crawl into bed and stay there for a little while. As a loved one, you should be okay with cuddling in bed with your significant other and not facing the world for a little while.

Remember, it is not a bad thing to take some moments for yourself, any time that you may need.

And that’s enough for now, I’m sure I’ll have more insight down the road when I’m not falling asleep at my desk like I am now! Ack!

Hope everyone keeps safe and warm tonight!

Happy writing!

What Happened to Thanksgiving?

/ Ajmorse / Leave a comment

1221122319I might sound like a major Grinch in this post, but I’m not going to apologize.

Christmas is coming, no, its steamrolling its way here faster than I’d like, and it’s sprinted past Thanksgiving and is on its way to Christmas in July…which will probably get here faster than Thanksgiving.

And Turkey day is merely two weeks away…just saying.

I’ve been out and about the last couple of days doing errands, and I’ve been noticing more and more red and green than I have before. Christmas may not be my favorite holiday, but usually I like to get into the Christmas spirit after Thanksgiving. Not before. Not during.

My less than jolly mood could be contributed to my three years spent working retail, and the Christmas music that some stores shove down your throats the day after Halloween.

We also lost my grandma this year, and it just doesn’t feel like there should be a holiday at all, but I definitely don’t want to see Christmas trees and fake snowmen out before I’m ready.

I guess when it comes down to it, the holidays mean something different for each and every one of us. For those who have lost loved ones, it can be a difficult time. Most of the time I get annoyed because of how commercialized Christmas has become. It is all about the money and stores are even opening Thanksgiving night, instead of early black Friday morning.

I feel just like Charlie Brown on A Charlie Brown Christmas. What ever happened to the true meaning of Christmas? To spending time with friends and family and loved ones?

To realize that Christmas is about the joy of spending time together and giving and love.

Maybe it doesn’t feel like Christmas this year because the only thing I want for Christmas is the one thing I can’t have: to spend one more Christmas with my Grandma. To hear her laugh again, to get wrapping paper thrown at my head.

Well, I didn’t mean to get all sentimental on you guys, but I am doing everything I can to find some joy in Christmas this year, and it just isn’t happening.

And it certainly doesn’t help when the outside world is telling us too soon that you better be ready:  Christmas is coming!!

Where do you find the joy in the holidays?

I’ve decided that I’m going to try to make most of my presents this year, but I think I might also do some online shopping. I’ve had enough of stores already!

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Slow Sunday, Bad Dreams and Rising Above it

/ Ajmorse / 2 Comments

Meh. It’s a crappy day outside here in upstate, New York. The sky is gray, kind of damp and windy and fall colors seem to be bleeding away into this disgusting looking reddish/brown and I am having a terrible time waking up this Sunday afternoon.

I thought about doing some cleaning and then shopping…but meh, I think I’ll just sit here in front of my light box and write. Woe is to me.

For someone who gets seasonal depression every single year, you’d think I would learn by now, right? Was rather weeping/down these past couple of days…didn’t realize it until I watched a sad video on youtube a few days ago, (I mean, not very sad,) and starting crying because of it.

Some great colors still - I snapped at my parent's house this weekend.

Snapped this at my parent’s house this weekend. Perhaps all the trees aren’t past their prime, yet.

Then, off to the light box – and I had a great Friday and Saturday with one of my friends: we had a girl’s night, ate pizza and watched The Age of Adeline, which I loved, and then had lunch with my sister and niece on Saturday.

Everyone needs a little soul food; and then a lovely Saturday night spent with Mike and I’m happy. Like, very happy. Back to normal. Summer Amanda. Woo.

Then…this morning’s dream.

My Grandma passed away this Spring, and its becoming clear to me now that the holidays are rapidly approaching and grandma is not going to be there this year to celebrate it with us. I know I knew this at the time it happened, but it’s not really sinking in until now.

I had a dream it was Thanksgiving at grandma’s house. I saw all this wonderful food set out in the kitchen and then for some reason, I decided to go take a nap. I fell asleep and no one woke me up to tell me that dinner was ready, and I came out to the kitchen and all the food was gone. There were some sickeningly sweet pudding and jello desserts left, but no cheese and crackers. No turkey, no mashed potatoes. Grandma was there in the kitchen with everyone, and they all exchanged looks with everyone as I slammed things down and brushed things aside, angry and confused that this had happened to me.

And then grandma steps up and smiles to me, and offers me something (I think it’s an apple,) and jokes and says something funny and tries to reassure me that everything’s okay, but it’s not. I rudely brush past her and run through her house to her guest bedroom, which is just off of the living room in the back of the house.

Suddenly, I’m sobbing into the bed because I know its Thanksgiving and grandma is not there anymore. She’s never going to be, and even if the food is all gone, the pain of her absence is more infuriating, hurts worse, more than the pain an empty stomach could ever be.

I woke up with tears dried on my face, and itchy eyes. And I have tears in my eyes now. What is the matter with me?

Thank you subconscious…For allowing me to remember. As if I could forget?

Grief makes you feel so lonely. Depression, too. All I want to do is crawl back into bed and have a do over. Maybe this time I would dream about meeting J.K. Rowling like I did last Saturday?

Time to get motivated. Time to remember that I’m not alone in this…that many, MANY others suffer from depression and need help, too. I think the best thing to do right now is make sure that I have an outlet…sometimes there is no lonelier a place than your own head space. (Hah! I made a rhyme!)

Okay, enough of that. I had this song stuck in my head today. (I recently discovered Pentatonix On My Way home documentary on Netflix, too!)

Their sound always seems to cheer me up. MUSIC cheers me up. Writing is always a great comfort to me as well.

What do you guys do to brighten up the day?

Happy Writing!

The Force Awakens New Trailer Review and Thoughts

/ Ajmorse / 2 Comments

I watched this new Force Awakens trailer with Mike (the other half) last night, and I had some reservations.

He thinks that I’m just irritated because now I have more questions than answers, (which is probably true,) but also, something about this new trailer troubles me. So, thought I’d write-up a quick blog post to puzzle it out.

I was disappointed when I learned a few years ago that Lucas had sold his masterpiece to Disney, because, well, Disney likes to ruin things. Like important things. By adding their own interpretation to the field. (Any fans of Boy Meets World see their Girl Meets World version? Yuck.)

But when I heard that J. J. Abrams was at the helm of the project, and all of the resources and money that Disney has, I thought okay…this movie might have a chance.

Then I saw this trailer and all of those doubts started to creep in again.

In this new trailer we finally see what we can assume are the main characters of the film : a former Storm Trooper, and a young brown-haired girl, Rey, living on what looks like Tatooine. I thought it was possibly Leia’s and Han’s daughter, but, according to this new trailer, it doesn’t really seem that way.

To be honest, I’m going to be very annoyed (I’m already annoyed) if this young woman is not in any way related to the Skywalkers. Because…I mean, come on, its STAR WARS; a lot of the main plot is centered around one big romance that ends tragically between Anakin Skywalker and Padme Amidala.

Of course, I could be reading into something that is meant to be vague on purpose – it is J.J. Abrams after all.

Anyway, the tone I got from the new trailer – so melancholy. There’s a lot of reminiscing going on (from what we’ve seen) but I hope that the film doesn’t get bogged down on what Star Wars was, and to focus on what it still is…to continue mastering a great story.

That being said, there’s got to be a balance, too. It needs to have some of that old Star Wars feel, (from the three great originals,) but also be fresh and exciting for this cinematic age. And although we love Star Wars, we hope that J.J Abrams also remembers that we love the universe of Star Wars, too, so we hope that it still feels like it’s in that galaxy far, far, away…with all the action scenes, explosions, droids, unexpectedly adorable aliens, and quotable lines, (minus the corniness)…

But, I don’t think that’s asking too much…right? 😉

Anyway, do you guys have any thoughts on the new movie? Are there things you are definitely looking forward to?

I’ve decided that I didn’t hate the new trailer, but it definitely did make me irritated because it managed to answer NONE of my questions. Hmm. Just like LOST all over again. Oh, J. J. Abrams.

Hope everyone has a great night!