Character Files: “The Conductor”

I’d like to try something new to add on here – I call it “Character Files.” In my struggle to find some kind of story inspiration some time ago, I purchased a book called Writerific II: Creativity Training for writers by Eva Shaw, which offers encouragement, but most importantly, writing prompts for the creative writer.

One such prompt, has a page full of groups of words. Each group of three words is meant to inspire a story, by using each word in a story or situation that you may create. I decided to take it a step further, and as such created – Character Files.

spy8Each group of words inspired me to create a character, someone who may or may not have a story – a character that I could store away in a file with other characters I created, that I could return to and use that character for story inspiration if need be.

There are a lot of word groups in the writing prompt, and I’ve only created a few different characters already. But I was pleased with the different results. This particular example took me to a place and genre that I don’t normally write, but it allowed for some nice practice of sensory images. Here goes…

The words are:  pigeon   voltage   train

“The Conductor”

He is a nobody, tall and willowy with a pale face, and dark brown hair. His back is straight as he sits on the park bench in his navy blue conductor’s uniform, his long legs bunched up in front of him as he reads the newspaper.

            Looking at him, no one would know that he’s killed someone and framed somebody else for it, although, he twitches occasionally at every other sentence he reads. His brown eyes squint, his face bunches and then goes straight. Two-thousand volts of electricity frying their way through his veins. It could have been him. The memories eat at him, peck at his brain like a flock of crows.

            The sight of the butchered man he killed in the alley late that night. The rain pouring in his ears and over the curve of disgust on his lips. The bastard he caught sleeping with his wife…maybe he should have killed her too.

 

He smelled the rain that night, and he never smelled anything more visceral. Felt his thoughts mix with the sewage and the blood water that swirled around the man’s body, the man that he killed, a milkman, another nobody. What was so important about this stranger that made his wife take her pants off?

He thought, just once – it was a fleeting thought really – that maybe he should be down in the sludge and the darkness of the alley, too. Let the smell of something putrid, the river of feces, blood and rain water pour over him. Feel the fear of something cold and slimy creep its way across his bare skin. Let it feed off of him for a moment and taste the sponginess of his brain, the holes there, the parts that were missing that tasted brown, like something sweet and rotting. Let blood pour out of his nose and his eyeballs bounce down his face. Let him feel hell just once.

Instead, he swiped at the water on his chin, shook his head like a dog, shivered once, pulled his coat around his shoulders and walked home. The knife he used on the stranger who was defiling his wife, he hid in his cousin’s apartment, still wet, the blood dripping.

The next day, while drinking his morning coffee, he placed a call to his local police department to let them know that his cousin, an alcoholic and a man who occasionally liked to feel up little girls, was in town and that he came around the other day begging for money. His cousin had threatened him with a knife, which the conductor described to the police in great detail. A butcher’s knife, he said and then shuddered with a slight catch in his throat. There were groves and barbs on the blade, the kind that shreds through skin when you use it. Mostly likely cut a man in two. Or remove somebody’s head.

The next day he read the front headline of the newspaper while he sat on a park bench on his lunch break: Child Molester Arrested for Murder. He folded the newspaper carefully and tucked it under his arm. The sun felt warm and soft on his navy blue uniform and he looked down at his shiny, black shoes and smiled to himself. It was going to be an excellent day.

Game of Thrones Season 4, Episode 7 Recap: Who is the Mockingbird?

Spoilers ahead!

Photo credit: HBO.  Sansa appreciates the snow in the Eyrie.

Well, what can be said about last night’s episode? What can’t be said?? For an episode that was said to be a ‘filler’ episode by my boyfriend, an awful lot happened.

The episode starts out with Jaime berating Tyrion about turning down the deal with Tywin to take the black. Jaime claims that he has “thrown his life away.” They exchange words about their father, how he wants to see Tyrion dead and Jaime back at his rightful place at Casterly Rock, yada yada…the thought is that Bronn will fight for him.

Bronn is sent for, and comes to explain to Tyrion that he has a chance to marry, and he has gold, (as arranged by Cersei.) He says that he is Tyrion’s friend, but likes his life more. The conversation ends, and they shake hands and the meeting ends on a good note…I think.

Later on in the episode, Prince Oberyn comes to visit Tyrion in his cell. It’s odd…a place so dirty and (presumably) smelly, yet Prince Oberyn seems right at home. He seems the type that can slip into any place and look like he belongs. The man is that comfortable in his own skin. It is refreshing for us, but must be terrifying for the rest of the characters on Game of Thrones, because who’s to know what the man will do next?

Like, decide to be Tyrion’s champion? Prince Oberyn is there at King’s Landing to get revenge, and he wants revenge against Gregor Clegane, or ‘The Mountain,” for raping and killing his sister. Gregor Clegane  is the champion that Cersei has chosen, (A.K.A killing machine and The Hound’s brother.)

Meanwhile, somewhere not so close to King’s Landing, Arya and the Hound pass an old man on the road who is dying from a stomach wound. He goes on and on and says a lot of things that aren’t particularly important. Arya says that “nothing is just nothing,” the Hound puts him out of his misery and teaches Arya where the heart is all in one stroke of his knife.

The next time we see them, the Hound and Arya get attacked by those trying to get the price put on the Hound’s head. Arya remembers one of the attackers as someone who has insulted her but she doesn’t know his name. The Hound asks the guy his name, he gets on Arya’s list, she stabs him in the heart. The scene ends with the Hound saying, “you’re learning.”

It’s an amusing scene, and fitting of Arya’s character, but should I be worried that I find such scenes somewhat amusing?

Later on in the episode, we see that the Hound is hurt by their attackers. He asks Arya about the sword she got from her brother, then he tells Arya the story of what his brother gave him. The scar on his face. Touched by the story, Arya offers to help clean his wound and stitch it up.

On Dragonstone, Melisandre convinces Lady Selyse to bring her daughter Shireen with them on the long journey. I’m guessing to King’s Landing? Melisandre claims it’s because the lord of light will need her. More blood sacrifices, perhaps?

Meanwhile, in Jon Snow’s world, Alliser Thorne is continuing to give him trouble; insisting he lock up Ghost, won’t listen to Jon’s suggestions about fortifying the wall and overall just being a regular pain in the ass. Here’s hoping he gets what’s coming to him soon…something that will probably happen because he doesn’t listen. Personally, I think Thorne is such an ass because Jon has the ability to lead, his friends are also loyal to him and Thorne is threatened by it.

In Meereen, Dany has her own version of trouble. Daario claims that he is only good at two things: women and killing men. She makes good use of one of those things. She tells Daario to strip. Something I thought that was a little out of character for Dany, but as she is growing into her role, I could see why she would make use of what she has…but it seemed odd. This is no longer the frightened little sister of Viserys that we saw in season one of this series.

While it is obvious that Daario desires her, there is no softness in Dany’s expression. She is still Queen. Ser Jorah doesn’t approve, of course. However, Dany does listen to him when he advises her not to kill all the slavers in Yunkai, where she sent Daario and the second sons to reclaim the city. She changes her mind and says that they will have a choice to follow the rules in her world, or die.

We also see a bit of Pod and Brienne in this episode. While not main characters, I love these two as there never seems to be anything bad in them. While stopping at an Inn to catch a decent meal, they meet Hot Pie who tells them that Arya is still alive, and that she was traveling with the Hound. Pod deducts that they would be heading towards the Eyrie, where the girl’s aunt lives. Sansa might be there too.

Meanwhile in the Eyrie, Robin…annoying, spoiled, stupid, whiny Robin, destroys Sansa’s snow Winterfell and throws a tantrum. Sansa slaps him and then immediately regrets it. Lord Baelish sees and says that it’s what his mother should have done a long time ago. (He makes a good point, you know.)

Sansa questions Lord Baelish about why he killed Joffrey and he confesses it is because he loved her mother, and says in a different world she could have been his daughter. Then he kisses Sansa. She pushes him away, but aunt Lysa sees.

Threatened by Sansa and jealous, and a trifle crazy, Lysa holds Sansa over the moon door and threatens her. Lord Baelish manages to calm her down, and then reveals to her: “there is only one woman I love,” he says,”and that was your sister.” He then pushes Lysa through the Moon Door and the episode ends.

-I thought this a great ending, as I was never a great fan of Lysa. What will happen next you think? Thought’s below if you got ’em!

 

 

 

 

Don’t Wake Up the Sleep-walker!

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sunset at Pine cradle lake, PA

I’ve been working on a story/writing for the better part of 2 hours, mostly because I am bored and mostly because I am procrastinating doing laundry – but the reason I decided to post was this: I just realized something.

There is a big difference between writing a story, and immersing yourself in that story. Sometimes you write on the page, but you never become involved. There’s a difference between staying in the present world that you are writing, and emerging into that world, where the sights, scents and conversation is what is around you – not the hum of the fan next to your computer screen, or the traffic outside, or the typing of your hands wandering across your keyboard.

Immerse yourself into that world fellow writers. Become one with the scents, the sounds, the people. It is jarring to come back from such a world sometimes, but if this is what needs to be done, then, hey, I’m all for it.

Now, what was I doing again?

Ah, being a writer really is a lonely thing sometimes. Only we see the world that we are writing and it is sometimes hard to explain to others why they can’t interrupt that thought process.

I compare it to waking up a sleep-walker. Don’t wake up the sleep-walker! It’s all disorienting and confusing. That’s why I always tell my boyfriend: don’t interrupt me when I’m in the middle of writing, its like waking me up from a deep sleep, yanking me away from a world prematurely. (And believe me he’s done it a couple of times, grumble, grumble).

Let the writer wake up in her own time. Ah, but anyway I digress.

Become one with the story…don’t be afraid to dive in! That’s all.

Happy Writing!  And to those that are experiencing warmer weather (finally): Big Smiles! Summer is finally here!

 

What Game of Thrones can teach creative writers about hidden context

Source: HBO;  Margaery and Cersei walk together.

We saw it a few nights ago in the latest episode of Game of Thrones, in First of His Name. Margaery and Cersei are standing side by side, both staring out at the new King Tommen talking about King Joffrey, about the new king, about whether or not Margaery still wants to be queen. Talking about everything else than what is truly on their minds.

Game of Thrones, or more specifically, Game of Throne’s characters, presents a fine example of the importance of hidden context for creative writers.

In context:  Margaery and Cersei are having a conversation, they are talking about the troubles on hand: a recent death, a new queen and what they should do now. Margaery, is polite, beguiling, charming. She knows how to twist words to her favor, to ask a question, yet answer it in the same sentence. Meanwhile, Cersei’s words are clipped, sometimes barbed. The things she says are meant to shock, to entice some reaction from the person next to her, to try to make the person she is having a conversation with, uncomfortable.

Out of context: The tension between the two. The fact that they aren’t looking at each other. The pauses between words. The politeness. Margaery wants the throne and is doing what she can to get it. Cersei doesn’t like Margaery, but knows she must play nice and make small talk, or in Cersei’s case, idle threats. Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.

While the two, strong, beautiful women are making conversation, most of what goes on between them is what they don’t say. The glances, the gestures, the false smiles. Cersei says it best with a glance, a frown, or a twitch of her eye.

And all the while, there is tension.

You hear it time and time again, from a lot of creative writers, or teachers of the craft. There must be tension. Without tension of some kind there is no story, no problem or obstacle to overcome.

If two characters are having a conversation, and everything is happy, perfect, agreeable, there is no reason for the conversation and as such, there is no story.

That’s why it is so important to create great detail in your stories. Sensory details. Describe the scene and character and conversation in detail.

With detail you will create the tension, and in that tension is what isn’t being said – the hidden context. Which is sometimes the most important thing of all.

What are your favorite stories or TV Shows? Who are your favorite characters in them? And what does it teach you about writing or story telling?

Thoughts below if you’ve got ’em!

 

 

Game of Thrones TV Show Review: First of His Name, or Last?

I have not read the book series, so my review of this show is based purely on what I have seen in each episode.

Also, Spoilers ahead.

Source: HBO

Season 4, Episode 5: First of His Name Review –

Westeros has a new King. Margaery continues to remain in King Tommen’s good graces, and Cersei admits to knowing that Joffrey was a monster, and makes friends with Prince Oberyn. She asks him to send a gift to her daughter; she misses her, which is understandable.

Arya continues to name names on her ever-growing list of soon to be dead people, and the Hound remains entertaining as always and still manages to challenge the feisty Arya at every turn.

Meanwhile, Sansa arrives at The Eyrie with Lord Baelish, who marries her aunt Lysa. We learn that it wasn’t Cersei and Jaime who murdered John Aryn, but his own wife! As requested by Lord Baelish, so they could be together. While the new Mrs. Baelish is aching to see her new husband to bed, I can’t help but wonder if this is just Lord Baelish’s plan to seize the Eyrie. He’s always wanted a Kingdom to rule on his own.

On another front, Lady Brienne and Podrick travel to find Sansa, and it turns out that Podrick wasn’t trained to do much, except pour wine for Lord Tyrion. Ah, no matter, he’s still loyal and sweet.

Jon Snow and Company finally arrive at Craster’s place, and the traitors are dealt with. Craster’s daughters tell Jon Snow to burn the house and the bodies to the ground, they will find their own way.

And we didn’t get the reunion between Jon Snow and his brother, Bran, as Bran is encouraged by his friends to leave before Jon can talk him out of his quest to head North to the Three-Eyed Raven.

Meanwhile, across the sea, Daenerys decides not to just be a Mother of Dragons and a Targaryen, she will be a Queen.

No attack on Westeros yet by Daenerys, but soon…I hope? And how much did you want to see the reunion between Jon and his brother? I know I did! Urgh.

A solid episode, I thought, but it seems like the more story lines we have for each episode, the longer it takes for the story to progress. It is both entertaining and frustrating as we have to wait for each character’s story in turn. The next episode, however, will be entertaining as we have Tyrion’s trial to look forward too!

I’d like to know what you think…Thoughts below if you got ’em!

 

Part 2 Confessions: Edits and Extra Thoughts

I was having some formatting troubles with my post last night, so in case you missed it, you can view it here.

I asked my boyfriend what he thought about it and he was like, yup, sounds like you really hate your job.

And don’t get me wrong, I don’t like it there…and am currently in the process of finding something new, but mostly I wanted to express my frustration at the lack of options for college graduates like myself and other people my age.

I was told to dream big growing up, and yet…reality doesn’t seem to make a lot of dreams possible nowadays!

Anywho, I’m not giving up though, and if I’m meant to write for a living, well, I’m just going to make that happen!

Best wishes to everyone and hope you enjoy your weekend! And keep on writing!

 

Part 2: Confessions – I am a child of the 90s, and yes, I hate my job

Part 2: Confessions was supposed to be about facing my Writer’s Fear, but this rant is very much-needed so hold onto your hats people. If you missed Part 1: Confessions, Struggling with Writers Fear you can read it here.

working manIt’s no joke, the majority of middle class Americans are probably in the same boat – working day in and day out, struggling to make rent and hating the 8 to 5 job that pays the bills but keeps them locked to the grindstone. No freedom to do what you want, when you want and where you want.

It’s work all day for little pay. It’s time clocks, and meetings and little vacation days. It’s cramming in a few texts during 15 minute breaks. It’s knowing that the boss-man is always watching, waiting with that memo that doesn’t make sense.

It’s managers that get promoted when they don’t know a daaamn thing. It’s – not who you know, it’s who you blow.

It’s “The Office.”

It’s…politics.

Several weeks ago, I moved to a new town, packed my bags, said goodbye to the folks and grabbed an easy 8 to 5 job that is now slowly eating my brains out. (Note to self, remember to apply for new jobs a bit sooner next time.)

At any rate, its amazing how dysfunctional some companies are. Where people get treated like numbers and the company gets away with it. How ridiculous the rules of attendance are, of break times, of self-importance. When did it get to be like that?

When did I become of a peon in the great big world of the machine? I don’t remember signing up for that.

clip art handsI am a child of the 90’s. I was told to follow your heart, follow your dreams, go to school for what you what. Well…if this is where a Liberal Arts degree in English Literature gets you, I feel gypped.

Today I got told by a girl barley in her twenties that I didn’t know anything. And that jolted me to a stop. I’m sorry? You don’t know anything about me, much less what I know and don’t know. At any rate, it pissed me off.
I’m a twenty-five year old college graduate, who works hard for nothing, and The Writer in me is ready to stand up and pay attention. I don’t deserve to be anyone’s bitch, much less the company that I work for.

I’ve decided it’s time to be honest, and its time to be honest with myself. I want to write for a living. I want to find the freedom in my job, and in myself to work hard and do what I love to do day in and day out. With no fear.

Maybe the ridiculous of this company is pushing me in the right direction – I am soo very close to just quitting my job and starting to write for a living.

If I were honest with my self, I would admit that I am wasting my time being responsible for once. Sometimes you have to be a little reckless to follow your dreams. I mean, who ever said that getting what you want was easy?

I have to remember that it’s not my job that defines me, it’s who I am and what I chose to do with my time here on earth that makes me who I am.

And it is my time to be honest with myself.

tampaI thought that I would make April a month of Confession Posts. Mostly Writing related, but this rant caught up with me tonight and needed to be let out. I know that there a lot of college graduates out there and people my age who feel the same. And we need to be heard and to support each other.

Look forward to Part 3 Confessions: How to Beat Writer’s Fear in a few weeks!

Any thoughts? Ideas? Rants of your own that need to be heard? Comment below! Writing is freedom! Let’s take advantage of it!

Part 1 Confessions: Struggling with Writer’s Fear

Something that I’ve been avoiding writing about for awhile now…

And that is about Fear…or, most importantly, about MY FEAR.

A writer’s fear. Yikes. A crippling phobia that leads to self doubt, blank pages and writer’s block. I am so worried about whether or not my writing will be good or not, and I don’t get anything written.

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If you all remember, back in August, I purchased Writer’s Market 2014 with much excitement and enthusiasm, all with the intention of moving myself forward on the path of freelancing and writing as a way to make a living.

I thumped the gigantic book on my desk and then stared at it apprehensively for a few minutes. (No lie.) With a deep breath, I managed to page through the first few pages, and then I pushed it aside, opened up Pandora and started listening to something soothing. Query letters? Submissions? Deadlines? Limits?

Words that didn’t seem intimidating before were suddenly hitting me in the face. Where was my inhaler again? Where was this all coming from?

So, I thought. And I thought some more.

All these questions buzzed through my head: How do I make the submission process, editing and proof-reading work for me? What are my goals? Do I have any? What will bring me satisfaction? What do I want to write and where do I want to send it to?

Wait a minute, self. Slooww down.

I need to keep constantly reminding myself: everyone has their own way of dealing with something. As writers, we should remember that each of us has our own style and that can be applied in all that we do. No one is the same, embrace it!

Also the most important thing right now: Write, Write, Write!  (<<<Something that I will keep reminding myself no matter what! How am I to succeed if I don’t try?)

In the next few days, I will be doing some of my own research to help counteract this weight on my shoulders, and on my chest. I will succeed as a writer. I just have to have the courage to face my own fears!

No April Fool’s jokes for me today, too much to do! Stay tuned for Part 2: My ways to Counteract Writer’s Fear!

Laundry, a menial chore – a nice journaling opportunity!

Moved to a new place in the last few months, and the building we are living in doesn’t have laundry on site, so every week or so I must make that dreaded trip to the laundromat. I hate doing laundry, and I hate laundromats, but the last time I brought my journal along and it gave me this somewhat amusing (if a bit depressing) journal entry:

ZZZZZ

3/5/14

I hate the sound of a laundromat. The way everyone’s laundry bumps up and down and goes every which-way, it makes me feel like there’s a hovercraft nearby, the rinsing and the swooshing, the quick, jagged vibrating of a laundry load full of jeans. The heavy slosh of an empty washer only half-full, only half used.

The dryer doors that fly open in mid-spin on a whim, flinging out their contents…be free undies…be free towels…be free…

Then there is the final rinse, the final spin, the heavy drone of a washer that bids you to keep waiting, groans and shudders, waiting….waiting…wait. One final spin, a heavy moan and then it shudders. It’s done.

How disturbing that washing clothes sounds like sex on paper, but it’s not like that at all.

Doing laundry is not sexy. It is the un-sexed, the final hangnail, the equivalent of having a migraine with a piercing light shining down on you.

It is like finding a stain on your favorite t-shirt, drumming your steering wheel in long lines of traffic, a fly buzzing in your ear, diarrhea, a sink full of dirty dishes, an open wound, the stink and the squelch of feet stuck in cold mud.

It is that raw, open feeling of words not said, of empty spaces, of regrets that come flying back in crowds of laughing, boisterous people. It’s like realizing you’ve forgotten something very important, and that dread of forgotten assignments…a pop-quiz, a failed class, the feeling of social paranoia. It is that trapped, dizzying realization that no one is coming to rescue you – life really comes with disappointments, heart ache and hurts.

And no one is going to rescue you from the overwhelming joyless feeling of living sometimes. Sometimes, all you can do is feel lost in the hullabaloo of it. Sometimes all you can do is look around hopelessly at the blank, wide-eyed, too-beautiful people and hope that they won’t notice that you might smell like prey to their eyes, that you might be that one person that might make this second of their lives a little more entertaining.

But ah, I digress – laundry. That menial chore that reminds you that there are other hopeless people in the world around you. You may think that you smell like roses most of the time, but in the end of it…eventually, all your clothes smell like shit. And that’s enough to bring dread to anyone.

Yeah, I really hate laundry. One day, when I’m rich and famous, I’ll hire someone to do it for me. But for now, it keeps me with the realization, and reminds me that no one is perfect – myself included.