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Original Songwriting: Embracing Pain and Love Forever

/ Ajmorse / Leave a comment

Sometimes, the muse strikes at the most interesting times. I found myself awake at 8 am Sunday morning, having woken up from a dream where I was writing a song with someone. The dream I remember…barely. It was a hodgepodge of balconies and bathrooms that never end, a situation where I made a promise to someone, I was in trouble, my heart was broken, someone had stolen something, on the run from the mob or in some kind of Bridgeton reinactment…my heart thinks maybe the latter because I remember dresses and a lot of regency-inspired costumes, but anyway, in the dream, I was writing a song about heartbreak and here’s what I came up with. It might be something, it might be nothing, but I also thought, not bad for someone who wasn’t conscious, hah.
~AJM


Just looking to find the time
to write down these thoughts of mine
but they hurt
they hurt

But pain makes you stronger
regret is for lovers
pain is a testament
that love is forever

So let it rain
so let it rain
so let it rain

Haiku, Haiku, Haiku

/ Ajmorse / Leave a comment

1.

time to write something

my brain is dead and tired

creative time gone

2.

sink into pillow

and don’t fight your tired eyes

dreams awake and start

3.

long day, many steps

good conversation and friends

it feels like a good future

The Road Home

/ Ajmorse / Leave a comment

in my mind, i fly
long grass on both sides
the black and white cows are silent
they are decor to this
one woman band
barreling her way
over this hill, this curve and the next
until everything within
vibrates
the silos, the grass covered hill,
those trees
that sunlight highlighting
the puffy white clouds
behind the blue
until everything feels too full

Star Night

/ Ajmorse / Leave a comment

tonight is a
plunge into a cool pool
that refreshes
the sky, it
sparkles like diamonds
i wish to
pluck one out of the sky
grasp it in my fist
and beg all my wishes
come true

Social Anxiety

/ Ajmorse / Leave a comment

i wish i could find what’s missing
what makes doing and going someplace new
feel like i’m trudging through a battlefield
except artillery and rifle fire
are the unfamiliar places and people
where everything is bright and too loud
shadowy people with waxy faces
an alien dream
this is my nightmare

“i’m sure it’ll be fine”
is the social balm
for my nothing problem
doesn’t make me feel better
who’s scared to go places
freak

i’m exhausted
my mind is spinning and spinning like
i’m running for my life
i’m trying to dodge thoughts and possibilities
they pop out at me like too-tall cartoon characters, clowns with bleeding make-up and boulders waiting to crush me
imagining conversations with strangers like there is a ringing in my head
dragging my thoughts together
like a bunch of trampled papers
fearing words that might come out wrong, a response or joke i hear incorrectly
the more i know about myself
the more i think, i am in the world differently
i ask my therapist
what does it matter, she says
a proper diagnosis
is too expensive



Mondays

/ Ajmorse / Leave a comment

mondays suck
like sour wine
like getting sick
after feeling fine

mondays drag
like fishing net
like unsaid thoughts
you cannot forget

mondays stay
like a bad cold
like stagnant work
and it’s growing mold

mondays crush
like heavy stone
like feeling down
completely alone

monday’s here
like sunday died
like freedom left
and you’ve said goodbye

I suppose this poem isn’t the best Monday morning inspiration to start your work week, but we’ve all been there. ❤️

Sometimes, all we can do is try our best and survive the day. I hope we all have a great work week. Soo busy here!

Best,

AJM

If I knew

/ Ajmorse / Leave a comment

if i knew when i was younger
that I would spend so much time
looking back to the days when things were simpler
yearning for it
with an ache that feels like grief
a longing that gnaws
like unsaid words

i might have enjoyed my time more
might have gone to the mall more often
might have told more secrets
got into trouble

if i had known the world doesn’t get any friendlier
that the scariness never really goes away
that i’ll still often feel like that 16-year-old farm girl
dressed in boots, patting cows
looking out across the field at the end of the barn
longing for something exciting to happen

maybe i would have realized sooner
that the stars don’t just fall for anyone