creative writing

Part 2 Confessions: Edits and Extra Thoughts

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I was having some formatting troubles with my post last night, so in case you missed it, you can view it here.

I asked my boyfriend what he thought about it and he was like, yup, sounds like you really hate your job.

And don’t get me wrong, I don’t like it there…and am currently in the process of finding something new, but mostly I wanted to express my frustration at the lack of options for college graduates like myself and other people my age.

I was told to dream big growing up, and yet…reality doesn’t seem to make a lot of dreams possible nowadays!

Anywho, I’m not giving up though, and if I’m meant to write for a living, well, I’m just going to make that happen!

Best wishes to everyone and hope you enjoy your weekend! And keep on writing!

 

Part 1 Confessions: Struggling with Writer’s Fear

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Something that I’ve been avoiding writing about for awhile now…

And that is about Fear…or, most importantly, about MY FEAR.

A writer’s fear. Yikes. A crippling phobia that leads to self doubt, blank pages and writer’s block. I am so worried about whether or not my writing will be good or not, and I don’t get anything written.

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If you all remember, back in August, I purchased Writer’s Market 2014 with much excitement and enthusiasm, all with the intention of moving myself forward on the path of freelancing and writing as a way to make a living.

I thumped the gigantic book on my desk and then stared at it apprehensively for a few minutes. (No lie.) With a deep breath, I managed to page through the first few pages, and then I pushed it aside, opened up Pandora and started listening to something soothing. Query letters? Submissions? Deadlines? Limits?

Words that didn’t seem intimidating before were suddenly hitting me in the face. Where was my inhaler again? Where was this all coming from?

So, I thought. And I thought some more.

All these questions buzzed through my head: How do I make the submission process, editing and proof-reading work for me? What are my goals? Do I have any? What will bring me satisfaction? What do I want to write and where do I want to send it to?

Wait a minute, self. Slooww down.

I need to keep constantly reminding myself: everyone has their own way of dealing with something. As writers, we should remember that each of us has our own style and that can be applied in all that we do. No one is the same, embrace it!

Also the most important thing right now: Write, Write, Write!  (<<<Something that I will keep reminding myself no matter what! How am I to succeed if I don’t try?)

In the next few days, I will be doing some of my own research to help counteract this weight on my shoulders, and on my chest. I will succeed as a writer. I just have to have the courage to face my own fears!

No April Fool’s jokes for me today, too much to do! Stay tuned for Part 2: My ways to Counteract Writer’s Fear!

Inspiration in the dead of winter – the beauty of old things

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It’s snowing here in upstate New York, (which isn’t surprising) and I’m ringing in the new year slightly hung over, but with a positive spirit. This is going to be the year that I’m going to get published! Doesn’t matter what, and doesn’t matter where or when, I will see my name in print in some form of publication and that’s that!

And despite the cold, the winter reminds me that a writer can find beauty in the most stagnant things. I often chaff at being cooped up inside and whine about the air that bites and dries the skin, but some days the sun does come out and you see the snow, white against the trees…

1513858_10152133881965610_108019176_nYou notice the blue of a frozen lake or pond…find the joy in a bit of gurgling water in a creek…and you wonder why it always sounds louder when icicles are dripping nearby, as if the rest of the frozen woods are holding their breath…

1533876_10152133824645610_873393832_nThe sun came out the other day and I was able to go out walking and took these pictures. In the ravine next to my house, there is an old junkyard. And where there is an old junkyard, you will find old things:

1557651_10152133814770610_1412887091_n 1520772_10152133810520610_400098364_n1526651_10152133864400610_841668839_nLike the hood off a 1950 green Buick that my father says he remembers having as a child.

I was inspired by an article I saw that showed the beauty of abandoned places, how old things feel haunting, have a sense of mystery, a story of their own to tell.

1525469_10152133868015610_1987141748_nWalking in the woods, I often find inspiration in the beauty around me, the sights, the sounds, the fresh air and blue sky. (This might also be why I love fantasy novels so much.) But inspiration is all around us – even in the dead of winter! You just have to open your eyes and see it!

What inspires you? Share something if you got it! Any New Years resolutions anyone?

A kaleidoscope of Love – show your holiday spirit!

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There’s been something on my mind lately and that is Love.

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Art done on Paint; by AJM

What is it exactly?

A discussion in one of my college classes about love suggested that love can be varying. We were talking mostly about the love that you feel towards someone – how someone described as being in love as a sacrifice of themselves, to be so consumed by another person, you forget who you are.

To love someone is to put that other person before you, to care that they hurt, to want to make their passage in this world as easy as possible.

So, the question on my mind is: How do you know when it’s real?

Even as I write this, I find it ironic that every other song on my Pandora station has to do with love, or even has the word in the song. Love is everywhere. It is in the very fabric of our being; to find that place where we belong, where we are appreciated, where we are needed.

In my opinion, it is simple, really. We seek to define love to understand it. We give it different meanings and write different definitions for it. But real love shouldn’t need to be defined, it is only felt. Whether it makes sense or not, is beyond the point.

With real love we risk real heartbreak, but it is a sacrifice that everyone must accept to find where he or she truly belongs.

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Me and my cat Milo, when he was a kitten. What a goofball!

On that note, I’ve decided to focus on something else this holiday season…and that is giving gifts to show the ones I love how truly thankful I am to be known by them, to love and be loved.

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Every year I struggle with Christmas and the fact that it is so commercialized! (I blame the years I worked in retail. Thanksgiving is by far my favorite holiday!) I’d decided to do a few things to bring myself back into the holiday spirit and to focus on the love and selflessness that the holiday is meant to show:

  • make my own gifts this year; instead of focusing on buying, buying, buying
  • bake more!
  • cherish the memories, never miss a photo opportunity!
  • try more outdoor activities

What are you doing to get into the holiday spirit? Thoughts below if you got them!

Between the raindrops

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I sometimes forgot how much I love to lose myself in the setting of a book or a movie, the way it feels to lose yourself in a different world, a character’s emotions – to be swept away and return only when you need to…

when its time to face the music.

But this also reminds me of dreams, which brings me to the point of this post:  Last week I had a dream…

No, really I did.

I had a dream that…well, I don’t remember much, but in the dream was music. There was a girl running from something, she was full of emotion; longing, fear, desire…she was running to something and she couldn’t get there fast enough and she was worried that she was going to be too late.

Too late for what? I have no idea. I woke up with a song in my head that matched the beating of her heart and I could not figure out where I had heard the song or even what it was. I had a tune in my head, and didn’t even know if it was a real song.

Well, I heard that song on the radio today, jotted down some lyrics and through the power of google, the song has a name.

It is Between the Raindrops by Lifehouse feat. Natasha Bedingfield.

It always amazes me how a good song can sweep you up just as much as a novel, or a great movie. It is where I find some of my inspiration…and why I don’t always like to watch the music videos that go a long with songs. I like to create my own story.

There just might be something here, too. I can still see the girl running, the mud flying up on her t-shirt as her legs tear across the ground, as cold, water dribbles down her bare legs and her cheeks and eyelashes, mixing with muddy rain and tears.

Ah, Summer…

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Well, May passed by in a blur! Can’t believe that it is June already! But, as I am a June baby (my birthday is next week, June 7th! Yeah, baby!) I love that Summer is just about here and all the things that come with it!

I love the heat, the lightning bugs, the sound of a screen door slamming shut; the hum and croak of bull frogs in the pond next to my house, the crickets singing in the grass.

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Pine Cradle lake. A camping trip a few years ago…

Ah, Summer…

I love that it is the time of flip-flops and tank tops and shorts and sun-glasses. A time where sweaty socks are forgotten and tucked in the back of an underwear drawer somewhere, and you can slap, slap, slap, your way through cold, air-conditioned super markets. There’s something satisfying about the feel of feet slapping across a smooth, solid floor…

I love the food of summer time: hotdogs, and jello, and pasta salads; pies and watermelon, strawberry short-cake, ice cream, s’mores and iced tea.

And with all these delicious foods come the outings: picnics, cookouts and camping and trips next to the lake…

My girls! ❤

Nights out on the town with girlfriends in the sweltering summer heat, drinking rum-and-coke, and moving with a freedom that doesn’t happen in winter. Your body is like liquid and moves where you want it to, finally released from the burden of bulky winter clothes…a summer breeze that caresses bare shoulders, like a soft blanket…

Everything is life, life, life and the world is humming, waiting to be explored!

Summer is exciting! I love it when everything comes back to life again and myself with it! Although I have been rather busy with work lately, I look forward to the time spent with friends and the mini-vacations that we have planned! (Still need to post updates on past trips!) Exciting days ahead! 🙂

Went to the Pennsylvania Grand Canyon with one of my girlfriends memorial day weekend! :) So Beautiful!

Went to the Pennsylvania Grand Canyon with one of my girlfriends memorial day weekend! 🙂 So Beautiful!

My goal is to post here at least once a month, although I certainly want to post more with pictures of trips and adventures and such! Hope everyone is enjoying the warmer weather! Got any exciting plans?

Happy Summer y’all!

Spring Continued

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Went for a walk this evening – I am enjoying this warmer weather so, so much! 🙂 Took a few pics that I thought were cool, so thought I’d share. Enjoy!

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Went for a walk in the woods next to my house…looked up and thought the trees looked pretty neat, the shapes of the branches and the twisty vines.

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Blue sky peeks through the dusky cloud cover and adds more color to an already beautiful sky, as a plane streaks through and leaves a trail of white.

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Taking a rest on a fallen branch at the edge of the ravine. Yep, that’s my shoe. Was thinking this would be a great place to do that writing thing that I like to do. 😉

  Over all, had a great day. Hope everyone had a great Sunday! Here’s hoping the rest of the week is just as warm and goes by just as fast!

Saturday Morning Food Post

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Saturday Morning yummyness of the day:

0216131132Strawberry-Vanilla pancakes garnished with whipped topping and sliced strawberries; with a side of fried egg with melted sharp cheddar cheese on top.

It’s important that writers have other creative hobbies, and I’ve decided making good food is mine!

What’s yours?

Can you guess what color I am?

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Dusk at Binghamton University’s wildlife reserve.

It’s early morning, and I really should be sleeping, but thought I would post my latest assignment from my writing class. It really is forcing me to stretch back into that creative mold and realize just because I’ve been to a few college classes, doesn’t mean that I am the expert that I think I am – sometimes I forget that we writers can get cocky sometimes. 😉

Anywho…the assignment was to describe a color and do this in the first person. (Pretend we are essentially the color.) The bit I wrote was a broad scope of how one color can be many, but I like the phrases I got here:

I am that periwinkle color of a forgotten sweater. I am royal, I am sweet, call me what you want; pop in your mouth grapes, a plum, hanging loose from the vine. I am everything that you want to go right in your life. Find me on the highway, stripped from its owner; a scarf blowing in the breeze. A dark, bleeding sunset, a midnight sky so inky. I am velvet, I am happy beams of ambrosia, lavender, freesia. The sparkle in a raindrop, no larger than a pin-prick. Find me soaring, the color of wind, grey and regal. Find me goofy. A bulky mauve dinosaur that everyone hates. Flowers in a field of straw, choking out the other plant life. Birthed by two colors, given life from two opposites, warm, cold, light and dark.

What am I?