it’s the time of year
just about
where hope and joy
fizzles out
i’m draining onto
a dirty ground
like a lost set of keys
never found
there’s no end here
i’ll walk forever
awake no longer
and sleeping never
dreams
Under the Sea
I had a dream I lived under water
in a station on the sea floor
We studied sharks and sea creatures
hoping we could learn more
The station walked on four legs
like a squat robot made of stone
we traveled deep and traveler far
a few of us called it home
I remember the color of the canyon
an orange-brown of cracked dirt
Yellow-green Marine life with extra frills
like maybe we weren’t on earth
Nothing else happened in the dream
we just lumbered on some more
searching for what we couldn’t find
we were made to learn and explore
aliens
I had a dream I visited aliens
they left their spaceship on the moon
yet in the time they left it
I stepped on it like a balloon
and it didn’t pop or float away
it shattered and made a mess
for the rest of the dream they chased me
trying to get me to confess
the space ship was red and white
like a plastic bobber on the lake
it hovered over my parents house
so close it made the windows shake
and each time they looked for me
I ran away to some place new
getting more and more exhausted
as my paranoia grew
I was so afraid and full of fear
but I never saw their faces
I just ran away from the truth I knew
that I was lacking in social graces
Once again, it’s not Monday. I didn’t want to be away for the next few days and not post anything. This one is actually written from a dream I had a month or so ago. I have strange dreams a lot and might consider writing more on them.
I hope everyone has a nice week and to those of us in the US – a very Happy Thanksgiving!! ❤️
~AJM
Dream-Lies
Some of my classmates are getting old
I see the wrinkles beneath their eyes
Their hair is gray, their children are grown
Were the dreams we dreamed just lies
Some said
I want to go to Hollywood and party with the stars
I’ll own a house in malibu and several shiny cars
I’ll paint with fields of color and start an artist’s revolution
I’ll save the whales and sea turtles and remove plastics from the ocean
And still for others
These dreams are dreams left up high on an empty shelf
But the biggest dream I ever dreamed was the life I live myself
Original Songwriting: Embracing Pain and Love Forever
Sometimes, the muse strikes at the most interesting times. I found myself awake at 8 am Sunday morning, having woken up from a dream where I was writing a song with someone. The dream I remember…barely. It was a hodgepodge of balconies and bathrooms that never end, a situation where I made a promise to someone, I was in trouble, my heart was broken, someone had stolen something, on the run from the mob or in some kind of Bridgeton reinactment…my heart thinks maybe the latter because I remember dresses and a lot of regency-inspired costumes, but anyway, in the dream, I was writing a song about heartbreak and here’s what I came up with. It might be something, it might be nothing, but I also thought, not bad for someone who wasn’t conscious, hah.
~AJM
Just looking to find the time
to write down these thoughts of mine
but they hurt
they hurt
But pain makes you stronger
regret is for lovers
pain is a testament
that love is forever
So let it rain
so let it rain
so let it rain
Star Night
tonight is a
plunge into a cool pool
that refreshes
the sky, it
sparkles like diamonds
i wish to
pluck one out of the sky
grasp it in my fist
and beg all my wishes
come true
Untouchable
there’s this feeling
after midnight
responsibilities die
time stretches on
you know there’s things
you need to do
but time is infinite
untouchable
in the early hours
Fantastic Beasts Post: What would you have in your suitcase?
So, I was having a thought the other day about the new movie by J.K. Rowling, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.
If you aren’t familiar with the story, Fantastic Beasts is about Newt Scamander, a self-proclaimed Magizoologist, or a person who loves and is enthusiastic about the care and protection of magical creatures.
Awkward Newt Scamander seems to get a long with creatures better than with people, and on a trip to New York City to help one of said creatures, he finds himself on an adventure of a life time.
During his trip, he carries a suitcase, but he doesn’t have clothes in his suitcase like every other no-mag (American term for a person who doesn’t have magic), instead, his suitcase acts as his own work space, and is where he keeps the rare creatures that he cares for.
Step into Newt’s suitcase and you’ll descend stairs and find yourself in a work-shop of sorts; full of what Newt needs to care for his creatures: extra boots and gloves, medicine for ailments, food for the animals, etc. And beyond that…his suitcase is basically a zoo, really, complete with climate and wide open plains for various creatures. Because, you know, why not?
Anything is possible with magic!
My question is this: If you could have your own suitcase like Newt’s magical suitcase, what would be in yours?
Mine would hold my office, a library, a reader’s nook, kitchenette and bathroom complete with Jacuzzi tub.
Beyond that, you would find yourself on a beach, where the air is warm and the sound of waves wash over you as you step along in the soft, soft, sand.
Follow the boardwalk and you’ll find yourself in a park, which leads to a huge, green forest with miles of walking trails, up and over hills and ravines and to a lake.
Back on the beach if you walk the other way down the boardwalk, you’ll find yourself in a food court with the option to try all different types of foods of the world.
Maybe tucked in somewhere, there will be a pool next to the office and a great patio, etc.
A dream place to go, to relax, to create and to be myself.
I’ve told you mine, now its your turn! What would you have in your suitcase?
An English Major’s Struggle To Find a Job
I recently took a new job here, (go figure, right?)…something that has me typing information at a desk, not customer service, not worrying about sales pitch – did I get it right? Just plain old monotonous information, and type-type typing away.
And while this job was described to me as incredibly boring, I can’t but help be somewhat relieved. Left to my own thoughts, my own devices, I am more productive, less stressed and overall satisfied. Plus, I don’t have to talk to anyone if I don’t want to. Is it sad how much this is a relief to me?
Ever since college I have been struggling finding my way or niche in this world…I watch friends of mine, graduates from the same college get jobs at corporations, in the classroom, or go on to pursue higher education at graduate school.
I am proud of them and their accomplishments, but where does that leave me? Taking a job in retail, in customer service, in collections…finding places that pay the big bucks with little need to think or grow? I don’t live in an area that offers an overwhelming amount of options, either. I feel like I have ruined my job experience…even the manager that recently interviewed me said he was worried about hiring me…”Your job history seems a little…scattered,” he said.
“Oh, I know,” I said, and then shrugged. What could I say?
“I missed the boat when it came to moving to Florida?”
“I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up?”
Life is difficult and not always forgiving when it comes to pursuing your dreams and passions. I got an English degree, so everyone assumed that I wanted to be a teacher. I worked in customer service, so everyone assumed that I’m great on the phone, and love to help others. (I am great on the phone by the way. Former debt collector here, watch out!)
But what to do…what to do, when all of the world seems to be telling me that I am a failure? I took the jobs…because I needed the money. Not everyone has a savings or rich relatives. (Oh, but wouldn’t that be nice!)
Since I was a young teen, the one thing that I consider myself great at is writing. This led to the thought: “I’ll be a writer.” Yet, with the pressure on to pay the bills…is such a desire a pipe dream? Or should I really just bite the bullet and go back to college…even though I don’t know what I want to study?
The questions are endless and the emotions boarding on that feeling of overwhelming sadness. I think the real answer to these questions are:
Do what makes you happy and don’t worry what everyone else thinks.
My head is grasping for the words of advice I’ve heard many times: “Don’t give up, you’ll get there.”
“Believe in yourself.”
“Never stop writing.”
“Don’t lose faith in yourself.”
Yet, they seem to be falling on deaf ears this afternoon, or falling in the cracks of heater and getting lodged there, (God knows little heat is getting out!).
The sun is peaking out of the clouds now, and the snow has finally stopped. For some reason Dory’s voice from Finding Nemo has snuck its way into my head:
“Just keep swimming…just keep swimming…What do we do? We swim!”
Hmm…I am a terrible swimmer, but I can keep going, no matter how difficult it is…
The truth of the matter is, I am not unhappy here, sitting at my desk in the sunshine, which is creeping through to land on the floor and the cheery, yellow walls of my office.
I can keep on swimming, and I can begin to stop listening to what others think…because only my opinion matters in this instance. Being a writer is my pipe dream, and that’s all that matters.
I can keep on swimming no matter the cost.
Funky Dreams, Inspiration and Writing
This week is a week of inspiration for me…and another inspiration is dreams. I get a lot of inspiration from dreams, as they are basically stories that the brain invents all by itself while you are sleeping.
This morning I woke up at 4am with the knowledge that I had the best dream EVER, and despite me writing down as much as I could, it still seemed like a whole lot of nothing. I could barely remember anything.
All I do remember is that I was at a friend’s house staying the night, I made out with one of my girlfriends, (we have been watching a lot of Orange is the New Black lately), we sang a song, there was food and candles lit, I went somewhere with my boyfriend. I was working out on an exercise machine, doing pull ups. Then the dream switches to me being on a slide with my friends, we were poling on a raft through a river of dead bodies, then there was this waterfall drop, I was too scared to go so I jumped off the raft to the side.
Just as I’m about to go down the shoot, some arms and legs emerge from a grate and a man appears with a gun and a bunch of soggy money clutched in his hand, he tries to shoot me and the dream changes again…I remember a story within a story, a love story I eventually tell to someone and my amazing heroics. (Apparently I could control water.) I remember a large grassy hill and a yellow mansion on the hill. I remember writing names on a mirror in pink paint or lipstick; someone scoffing and saying they definitely weren’t the best couple ever. I remember I dreamed up a night’s worth of actions in two hours.
Although I couldn’t remember everything, what IS clear is the emotions. I felt hopeful, triumphant, amazing and invincible. Like justice was really served or true love really triumphed in the end. I felt strong and confident and young. My heart was warm, and fuzzy, I was the happiest and the most excited about life that I have been in a while.
If I had a dream about my ex-boyfriend, I wouldn’t be warm and fuzzy. No, emotions like regret and longing sometimes resurface. But it is funny how sometimes a story has the ability to influence your emotions, changes the way you feel.
That’s what I want to do someday: I want to make someone feel happy because a character is happy, I want a reader to rejoice in their triumphs. I want to write something that changes a person’s perceptive about certain things. Words are powerful. I want to shape them, make them my own and be one of the triumphant ones.
Anyway, that’s enough from me…What are your goals and inspirations? Ever have a story that was inspired about a crazy dream of yours? I’d like to hear it!
Happy Writing people!
A. J. Morse 