excercise

Here I am Trying to Stay Motivated

/ Ajmorse / Leave a comment

I have this story that I’ve been trying to write a draft for. But after working all day sitting at a desk for 8 hours, do I want to come home and sit at my desk to write? No. It’s so frustrating. My notes/drafts/brainstorms are all on my computer, so it’s just so much easier to type out my draft for my story. Buut…I’ve been doing everything else tonight.

Here’s some things I’ve been trying to keep motivated:

Listening to Music ~ This has been doing a great job in keeping me relaxed, and I’ve switched to the Pop/Hip Hop workout station on Pandora, which makes me want to get up and dance, of course.

Stumbleupon.com ~ Mike’s really the reason why I know about www.stumbleupon.com. You basically create an account, edit your interests and click stumble. Next thing you know you’re surfing the web based on your interests. Can be very inspiring for writers.

Looked at Vacation destinations ~ This is really because Mike and I are shopping around for a place to go this coming summer, but this might be a good way to trigger a location for a story.

Also came upon this ~ 33 Ways to Stay Motivated. This was a stumbleupon result.

I’m jamming away, relaxed (now maybe a little sleepier) and trying to get that passion for writing. So funny how when writing becomes work, I suddenly am not inspired at all. Except when it’s like 10PM on a Sunday, and then suddenly all hell breaks loose. So typical.

What are you guys up to tonight? How do you stay motivated? Any tips?

Happy Writing!

I Am Me

/ Ajmorse / 2 Comments

I’ve been in a bit of a down mood today and no matter what I tried, (TV, music, chocolate)…I couldn’t seem to get myself out of it. So, even though I didn’t want to, I went for a walk down the road.

My doctor always encouraged me to exercise…says that it “lightens the load” in more ways than one, and not just physically…

Cow in the field down the road from my house. Why they feel the need to stare at people walking past them, I have no idea.

Cows ogled me as I trudged past. In my peripheral vision, I noticed the trees a burnt red and orange. I look down at my feet and see a brown, and black fuzzy, wooly bear caterpillar, creeping its way across the rough surface of the road. Bugs flew up at my face. Bugs! In the middle of October. The sun was warm on my green sweater and on my matching green headband, the sharp, cool air biting at my cheeks, which are pink from the air that doesn’t want to make its way into my lungs.

I thought about why I was upset, thought about the scenery around me. Felt my mood like it was a physical being, felt it weigh me down in my chest. Inside, I wonder and agonized: Am I good enough? Why do I feel so worthless?

And while I’m wondering why the black and white cow in front of me keeps staring and staring, something prompts me to turn around and I’m greeted with this view:

No matter how grey you feel inside, there is beauty still. As emphasized by this beaten down tree in the field I was walking next to and the rainbow soaring above it.

I don’t know what made me turn around; divine intervention, an epiphany? But I’m glad I did. It felt like one of those moments where I was faced with the reality of my situation by the visuals around me. And as corny as it sounds, it felt like a promise.

“I will not abandon you. You are not alone.”

There is still beauty inside, even though I felt so crummy. And I hold that warmth inside of me and I am happy still. Partially because of my walk, partially because of the air that forced itself in and out of my lungs, partially because of the scenery; because I know I am alive, because of the sharp air that pinched my cheeks awake. But mostly because I know that I am beautiful.

Rainbow above the burnt, orange trees.

I am beautiful mentally, physically and all the other ways in between. I am a beautiful writer, poet, woman, child, daughter, comedic and friend.

And when you learn to love yourself, you learn to love everything around you. I am worthy. I am a friend.

I am…me. 🙂