it’s okay, stop crying

she is crying
her nails are too short
chewed down to the quick
she sobs
it’s hard to stay in the lines

it’s okay, we say
stop crying

when we should be singing
you’re beautiful
even beauty has
it’s unclean edges

we think we reassure her
but really
we wave her feelings aside
like a bad smell
we don’t have time for

it’s okay
stop crying

my heart breaks
thinking of it

when she’s grown
how often will she think
her feelings don’t matter

Heart Monitor

like a parasite
latched to my chest
it reads
and knows
when my life’s blood
hesitates


I currently have a heart monitor on for the month of April…my body hates me, hah. Hearts been skipping a beat/pounding. Could be all normal…could be not. Better to be safe than sorry! This poem is silliness. But sometimes we must make light of the very serious. It’s the only way we survive. It’s the only way I survive.

~AJM


10 New Year’s Resolutions for Myself

new-years-day-1892263_1920

I don’t normally do these lists, but well, I wanted to this year. Besides, if I don’t write things down lately, I will never remember them. And this is for me after all…Plus, it gives me a chance to actually think of my New Year’s resolutions as I haven’t really thought of them yet, heh heh.

Anyway here goes…

1. Love More

Love my family more, love my boyfriend more, love my friends; show compassion to others who don’t necessarily see it on a day-to-day basis. More hugs and cuddles!

2. Be a better Writer

Okay, confession: I am a terrible speller, and I could be better when it comes to grammar. Sure I know the difference between my there, their, and they’res, but there are certain grammatical rules I should probably know better. Like does that comma go there, does that semi-colon go there, etc. Sometimes I feel ashamed of myself. Oh, and I need to actually Write More this year!

wp-1483322573359.jpg

3. Eat Healthier

Now that the holidays are over, enough with the sweets already! We are having a nice meal tonight (courtesy of the gift cards we got for Christmas) but this is our last hurrah. But what a way to break into the new year with filet mignon and scallops, eh?

13460763_10154174176370610_1774136575_o

4. Travel More

Was playing a drinking game last night, and it became clear to me that a lot of us hadn’t been out and done anything. I felt kind of pathetic. Enough of that! It’s time to see the world and experience new things. You only live once.

5. Volunteer

This Christmas, I felt the need to give back more than ever. It has been hard with my Grandma gone around the holidays, but this year felt just a little bit easier.  I felt like it was time to show the love to everyone that she has been known for.

img_20160525_185058155.jpg

6. Exercise

I hate going outside during the winter months sometimes. It’s so cold! But on the sunny not-windy days, I need to bundle up and get moving! Motivate myself with a new book, etc.

7. Treat Myself Better

This goes along with taking time for myself. Sleep more, give yourself time for light therapy in the mornings, and don’t be too hard on yourself. Nobody is perfect and there will be bad days and good days. I have to remember that when you are upset you make it ten times worse to make yourself feel bad about it.

8. Be Open-minded

If there is anything to take away from this disastrous election year here in the US, it’s to be more open-minded. Not everyone is going to agree on everything, but we should listen and chat openly about the issues we are facing in our country. Only by educating ourselves can we truly understand the problems at hand.

9. Save Money

We are terrible at saving money. It’s not that we spend it on useless things, and it’s not that we ever go without – we just see a little extra money in the bank, and it’s a hey! Off to a great place on the weekend or a new restaurant! Self, it’s time to BE BETTER at this.

wp-1483322021243.jpg

10. Love Animals

My boyfriend’s dog, (aka our fur baby) lives at my mother’s house as a country dog, which he loves very much. But being with him this holiday season reminds me of the powerful therapeutic connection we share with our four-legged friends and how important it is to continue to support our animals…domestic or otherwise.

And that’s it really. What about you? What are your New Year’s resolutions?