I’ve been wanting to type out my thoughts on this past year, but I am struggling to figure out how to organize what I am trying to say. A LOT Happened. Between realizing the world was thrown into a pandemic, there was the election to stress about, and at some point I was also working from home. Both Mike and I were very lucky, as we were both able to keep our jobs, and neither of us has been sick. However, I seem to want to add purpose to this past year…

Did I learn anything in 2020? Is that even important?

I’d like to think that I’ve learned something this past year, but it feels more like observations…not necessarily proof of self growth, but more like observations of myself and things I discovered that helped me through such a difficult year.

Self Discipline:

Not everyone has it. As a writer, I should be better at this, but I’m not. It takes a lot of self discipline to work from home to be productive while there are home distractions (like a chocolate lab who constantly wants to licks your elbow, or tries to leave his ball on your keyboard.)

Staying in Contact with Friends and Family:

With quarantining and social distancing, I haven’t seen many of my family members since the middle of this summer. I think the point here is that there are many other ways to stay ‘in contact’ even when you can’t meet together in person.

• Group chats: My sisters and I have a group text conversation which we chime in almost daily; even if it is to simply tell each other what we made for dinner that day. I also have a few other active chats with other friends and family.

• Snail Mail: I sent more letters out to friends and family. Sometimes, there is nothing better than seeing a letter in the mail addressed to you that’s not bills or spam.

• Facebook Groups: I started a Facebook group named ‘The Resistance,’ (which was named by my niece who is an avid Star Wars fan.) Although not about Star Wars at all, this group is for friends and family to boost each other up and discuss any issues and concerns about mental health.

Although, I miss seeing some of my friends and I miss traveling, I had to find other ways to entertain myself.

A Few Discoveries that Stuck With Me:

• Hamilton: In March of 2020, I listened to Hamilton for the first time and then practically non-stop for the next month or so. It was my way to combat anxiety and with all the tongue twisters of words in the lyrics, it kept me occupied singing along and I wasn’t worrying about anything else. Hamilton saved me from a lot of unnecessary panic attacks.
• Animal Crossing: It’s very relaxing gathering things and catching fish in this game. It also helped me to avoid panic attacks.
• Some Good News: This youtube channel created by John Krasinski was such a treat.
• Writing: I feel like I was motivated to write a lot more. I finally broke 50,000 words on one of my stories! Although, I had this mentality: ‘if I die today, what would I have to show for it?‘ (I seemed to have some of the lyrics of Hamilton ingrained into my brain.) It still motivated me. Who would tell my story? What would my story, my history, look like in the future? I want it to show that I’m a writer…that I can get something published.

The truth remains: I will always be a writer, I will always want to be a writer (even if I find myself in a bit of a writer’s block these last few months.) But I always come back to it, like it’s a warm lamp on a cold, dark night.

This past year wasn’t easy by any means, but I take these discoveries and observations with me and try to look at them in a positive light. Here’s hoping 2021 has more discoveries, less hate and love for everyone.

I hope everyone has a great night. Happy New Year and Happy Writing!