Character Files: “The Conductor”

I’d like to try something new to add on here – I call it “Character Files.” In my struggle to find some kind of story inspiration some time ago, I purchased a book called Writerific II: Creativity Training for writers by Eva Shaw, which offers encouragement, but most importantly, writing prompts for the creative writer.

One such prompt, has a page full of groups of words. Each group of three words is meant to inspire a story, by using each word in a story or situation that you may create. I decided to take it a step further, and as such created – Character Files.

spy8Each group of words inspired me to create a character, someone who may or may not have a story – a character that I could store away in a file with other characters I created, that I could return to and use that character for story inspiration if need be.

There are a lot of word groups in the writing prompt, and I’ve only created a few different characters already. But I was pleased with the different results. This particular example took me to a place and genre that I don’t normally write, but it allowed for some nice practice of sensory images. Here goes…

The words are:  pigeon   voltage   train

“The Conductor”

He is a nobody, tall and willowy with a pale face, and dark brown hair. His back is straight as he sits on the park bench in his navy blue conductor’s uniform, his long legs bunched up in front of him as he reads the newspaper.

            Looking at him, no one would know that he’s killed someone and framed somebody else for it, although, he twitches occasionally at every other sentence he reads. His brown eyes squint, his face bunches and then goes straight. Two-thousand volts of electricity frying their way through his veins. It could have been him. The memories eat at him, peck at his brain like a flock of crows.

            The sight of the butchered man he killed in the alley late that night. The rain pouring in his ears and over the curve of disgust on his lips. The bastard he caught sleeping with his wife…maybe he should have killed her too.

 

He smelled the rain that night, and he never smelled anything more visceral. Felt his thoughts mix with the sewage and the blood water that swirled around the man’s body, the man that he killed, a milkman, another nobody. What was so important about this stranger that made his wife take her pants off?

He thought, just once – it was a fleeting thought really – that maybe he should be down in the sludge and the darkness of the alley, too. Let the smell of something putrid, the river of feces, blood and rain water pour over him. Feel the fear of something cold and slimy creep its way across his bare skin. Let it feed off of him for a moment and taste the sponginess of his brain, the holes there, the parts that were missing that tasted brown, like something sweet and rotting. Let blood pour out of his nose and his eyeballs bounce down his face. Let him feel hell just once.

Instead, he swiped at the water on his chin, shook his head like a dog, shivered once, pulled his coat around his shoulders and walked home. The knife he used on the stranger who was defiling his wife, he hid in his cousin’s apartment, still wet, the blood dripping.

The next day, while drinking his morning coffee, he placed a call to his local police department to let them know that his cousin, an alcoholic and a man who occasionally liked to feel up little girls, was in town and that he came around the other day begging for money. His cousin had threatened him with a knife, which the conductor described to the police in great detail. A butcher’s knife, he said and then shuddered with a slight catch in his throat. There were groves and barbs on the blade, the kind that shreds through skin when you use it. Mostly likely cut a man in two. Or remove somebody’s head.

The next day he read the front headline of the newspaper while he sat on a park bench on his lunch break: Child Molester Arrested for Murder. He folded the newspaper carefully and tucked it under his arm. The sun felt warm and soft on his navy blue uniform and he looked down at his shiny, black shoes and smiled to himself. It was going to be an excellent day.

Don’t Wake Up the Sleep-walker!

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sunset at Pine cradle lake, PA

I’ve been working on a story/writing for the better part of 2 hours, mostly because I am bored and mostly because I am procrastinating doing laundry – but the reason I decided to post was this: I just realized something.

There is a big difference between writing a story, and immersing yourself in that story. Sometimes you write on the page, but you never become involved. There’s a difference between staying in the present world that you are writing, and emerging into that world, where the sights, scents and conversation is what is around you – not the hum of the fan next to your computer screen, or the traffic outside, or the typing of your hands wandering across your keyboard.

Immerse yourself into that world fellow writers. Become one with the scents, the sounds, the people. It is jarring to come back from such a world sometimes, but if this is what needs to be done, then, hey, I’m all for it.

Now, what was I doing again?

Ah, being a writer really is a lonely thing sometimes. Only we see the world that we are writing and it is sometimes hard to explain to others why they can’t interrupt that thought process.

I compare it to waking up a sleep-walker. Don’t wake up the sleep-walker! It’s all disorienting and confusing. That’s why I always tell my boyfriend: don’t interrupt me when I’m in the middle of writing, its like waking me up from a deep sleep, yanking me away from a world prematurely. (And believe me he’s done it a couple of times, grumble, grumble).

Let the writer wake up in her own time. Ah, but anyway I digress.

Become one with the story…don’t be afraid to dive in! That’s all.

Happy Writing!  And to those that are experiencing warmer weather (finally): Big Smiles! Summer is finally here!

 

Game of Thrones Review episode 6: The Laws of God and Men

This review is based purely on what I have seen on the TV Shows, also…

Spoilers ahead!

Photo source: HBO

Review of episode 6: The Laws of God and Men –

No Starks in this episode. Arya, Sansa, Bran or Jon Snow’s stories were nowhere to be found.

However, we do get to see a great deal of Theon Greyjoy…or what’s left of him. Theon’s sister, Yara, arrives with her ship of men only to discover that the brother she thought she was rescuing is no longer there. Ramsay Snow has completely broken him.

Meanwhile, Daenerys is learning what it means to rule and how time-consuming it is. She meets with subjects in Meereen and deals with the problems in turn. One in particular: her dragons ate someone’s goats. Whoops. She also confronts a man, whose father she crucified. The son now claims that his father was against slavery, and asks permission to bury him according to his customs. Daenerys concedes to the burial, but seems shaken by the confrontation. Perhaps ruling is not what it is cracked up to be?

And on another front, Lord Stannis is denied a loan by the Iron Bank, that is until Davos pleads his case to the committee that he is the real and rightful King.

Varys is confronted by Prince Oberyn in the throne room, and the Prince guesses correctly where Varys is from. It’s the first time I have ever really seen the spider on edge. Varys claims that he was never interested in men or women and says that without desire he is able to focus on more important things. He then looks meaningfully at the Iron Throne after saying this.

Lord Tyrion’s trial begins and we quickly see that the trial is a farce, as does Jaime. Jaime makes an arrangement with his father, Tywin, to pardon Tyrion and let him take the black, as long as Tyrion pleads guilty and has no more outbursts. In return, Jaime will take his place as heir at Casterly Rock.

Tyrion, of course, does not remain silent, as Shae is called to testify against him. She says that Tyrion killed Joffrey with poison to help his new wife, Sansa, get revenge against her slain relatives. I’m just going to come out and say it: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

The episode ends with Tyrion demanding a trial by combat.

My thoughts:

I’ve always liked Shae and could not believe that she would go to such measures to get back at Tyrion. Was she blackmailed? It doesn’t seem like it.

I hate what’s being done to Greyjoy, it’s just awful to watch.

Anything with Daenerys is fun – it’s always great to watch a woman kick ass, and she does it a lot. Compared to Daenerys, it makes me wonder why Stannis wastes his time? He’s never going to win. Stannis’ storyline just seems like a big waste to me.

Also, Prince Oberyn is supposed to be the enemy, but I am finding myself liking his character more and more.

Nothing much else to say about this week’s episode, only that I can’t wait for the next one. I’m a great fan of the Stark sisters, so looking forward to seeing them next Sunday!

What did you think of last night’s episode? Thoughts below if you got ’em!

 

 

 

 

 

What Game of Thrones can teach creative writers about hidden context

Source: HBO;  Margaery and Cersei walk together.

We saw it a few nights ago in the latest episode of Game of Thrones, in First of His Name. Margaery and Cersei are standing side by side, both staring out at the new King Tommen talking about King Joffrey, about the new king, about whether or not Margaery still wants to be queen. Talking about everything else than what is truly on their minds.

Game of Thrones, or more specifically, Game of Throne’s characters, presents a fine example of the importance of hidden context for creative writers.

In context:  Margaery and Cersei are having a conversation, they are talking about the troubles on hand: a recent death, a new queen and what they should do now. Margaery, is polite, beguiling, charming. She knows how to twist words to her favor, to ask a question, yet answer it in the same sentence. Meanwhile, Cersei’s words are clipped, sometimes barbed. The things she says are meant to shock, to entice some reaction from the person next to her, to try to make the person she is having a conversation with, uncomfortable.

Out of context: The tension between the two. The fact that they aren’t looking at each other. The pauses between words. The politeness. Margaery wants the throne and is doing what she can to get it. Cersei doesn’t like Margaery, but knows she must play nice and make small talk, or in Cersei’s case, idle threats. Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.

While the two, strong, beautiful women are making conversation, most of what goes on between them is what they don’t say. The glances, the gestures, the false smiles. Cersei says it best with a glance, a frown, or a twitch of her eye.

And all the while, there is tension.

You hear it time and time again, from a lot of creative writers, or teachers of the craft. There must be tension. Without tension of some kind there is no story, no problem or obstacle to overcome.

If two characters are having a conversation, and everything is happy, perfect, agreeable, there is no reason for the conversation and as such, there is no story.

That’s why it is so important to create great detail in your stories. Sensory details. Describe the scene and character and conversation in detail.

With detail you will create the tension, and in that tension is what isn’t being said – the hidden context. Which is sometimes the most important thing of all.

What are your favorite stories or TV Shows? Who are your favorite characters in them? And what does it teach you about writing or story telling?

Thoughts below if you’ve got ’em!

 

 

20 Random Questions about ME

Here’s something a little different…in case you were curious about the person behind the blog. I’ve posted a lot of posts, but nothing very much about me. So I made some of my own random questions…Maybe we’ll find out that we have something in common! 🙂

1212122120 meeeeeeee

1. What room am I in right now?

I am sitting in my office. I can hear traffic outside my window right now, and the weather is kind of gloomy and grey, but it is so nice having my own writing space. Even finally put curtains up this morning! They are purple.

2. Margarine or Butter?

Butter all the way! I grew up with Margarine though, yuck. I think butter is the best for cooking, though.

3. Who is my favorite celebrity crush?

For guys? Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth. For girls? Mmm…Keri Russel? She is soo pretty.

4. What is my favorite kind of food?

Italian food, yum! Anything with sauce, cheese, pasta, some kind of chicken or mushrooms…or meatballs, siigh, or garlic! Getting hungry thinking about it.

5. What is my favorite TV Show?

Right now, Game of Thrones. But LOST still remains a favorite.

source: zdnet.com

6. Who is my favorite author? Who do I most admire?

J.K. Rowling, of course. If I could come close to the depth and detail that she has created in her worlds, I would be alright, I think.

7. What do I order when I am out for breakfast?

Pancakes and sausage, home-fries and fried eggs over-easy. Last time I ordered bacon and ham, too.

8. If I could have a superpower, what would it be?

Superman powers – super strength, speed, X-ray vision, ability fly. Yeah, it’d be fun to just like jump over a building and be where you need to be.

9. What is my favorite animal?

There are so many. I really like sea creatures. Whales are probably my favorite; Blue whales, humpback whales and killer whales but I also like frogs, and turtles too.

10. What is one of my favorite books?

Graceling, by Kristin Cashore.

11. What music do I listen to on a day to day basis?

On Pandora:  a lot of 90’s hits, but also Ingrid Michaelson, and Disney songs

Pennsylvania Grand Canyon.

Pennsylvania Grand Canyon.

12. If I could travel anywhere in the world, where would I go?

New Zealand. I want to see all the gorgeous scenery that was viewed on all the LOTR movies, it’d also be extremely cool to visit Hobbiton, too.

13. Fiction or reality?

I have a theory influenced by the movie, The Words, that writers struggle with living in fiction or reality. They can chose one or the other, but after awhile, one or the other becomes the reality. The idea is to find the balance between the two, but is that truly possible?

14. Car or truck?

I have a tan Toyota Camry 99. Trucks are cool for those that have something to haul around, but I have no need for it. Plus, I love my Camry.000_0010

15. What do I like best about summer?

The heat! I like being so warm that’s it’s like there’s a blanket wrapped around my shoulders. I can wear flip flops and a dress and at 8 o’clock at night it is still 80 degrees… yeah, that’s my idea of a nice summer.

16. If I were to fix dinner right now, what would it be?

Something simple and comforting. Probably some kind of chicken breast, mashed potatoes and peas.

17. Why do I write?

I write because I feel like half myself without expressing myself on the page. Because there is some kind of peace, some kind of balance in myself when I get the ideas down on the page. One day when I was fourteen and in  English class, I decided I wanted to be the one whose words were quoted and cherished, like something sweet and savory in your mouth. I wanted to be the one to impress people with my words.

100_010718. What was my favorite pet’s name?

His name was Patches, he was a black and white cat who was a goofball and very mischievous. I have never had a cat with such personality before. He’d pounce the other cats when they were sleeping, he’d follow them places, he was a loud mouth, he had terrible luck when it came to hunting mice.

19. If I could live in an alternate reality, where would it be?

I sometimes think about worlds out there other then our own, I wonder what it would be like to live if the sky was purple, the grass was blue and the water was pink? What if we have five limbs instead of four? What if our whole world was underwater?

20. Where do I see myself in 10 years?

Published. No doubt about it. Settled down someplace warm with my graduate degree. In some kind of academic career, or writing professionally, perhaps with a family of my own.

 

Hope you enjoyed! Thoughts below if you got ’em!

Part 2 Confessions: Edits and Extra Thoughts

I was having some formatting troubles with my post last night, so in case you missed it, you can view it here.

I asked my boyfriend what he thought about it and he was like, yup, sounds like you really hate your job.

And don’t get me wrong, I don’t like it there…and am currently in the process of finding something new, but mostly I wanted to express my frustration at the lack of options for college graduates like myself and other people my age.

I was told to dream big growing up, and yet…reality doesn’t seem to make a lot of dreams possible nowadays!

Anywho, I’m not giving up though, and if I’m meant to write for a living, well, I’m just going to make that happen!

Best wishes to everyone and hope you enjoy your weekend! And keep on writing!

 

Part 2: Confessions – I am a child of the 90s, and yes, I hate my job

Part 2: Confessions was supposed to be about facing my Writer’s Fear, but this rant is very much-needed so hold onto your hats people. If you missed Part 1: Confessions, Struggling with Writers Fear you can read it here.

working manIt’s no joke, the majority of middle class Americans are probably in the same boat – working day in and day out, struggling to make rent and hating the 8 to 5 job that pays the bills but keeps them locked to the grindstone. No freedom to do what you want, when you want and where you want.

It’s work all day for little pay. It’s time clocks, and meetings and little vacation days. It’s cramming in a few texts during 15 minute breaks. It’s knowing that the boss-man is always watching, waiting with that memo that doesn’t make sense.

It’s managers that get promoted when they don’t know a daaamn thing. It’s – not who you know, it’s who you blow.

It’s “The Office.”

It’s…politics.

Several weeks ago, I moved to a new town, packed my bags, said goodbye to the folks and grabbed an easy 8 to 5 job that is now slowly eating my brains out. (Note to self, remember to apply for new jobs a bit sooner next time.)

At any rate, its amazing how dysfunctional some companies are. Where people get treated like numbers and the company gets away with it. How ridiculous the rules of attendance are, of break times, of self-importance. When did it get to be like that?

When did I become of a peon in the great big world of the machine? I don’t remember signing up for that.

clip art handsI am a child of the 90’s. I was told to follow your heart, follow your dreams, go to school for what you what. Well…if this is where a Liberal Arts degree in English Literature gets you, I feel gypped.

Today I got told by a girl barley in her twenties that I didn’t know anything. And that jolted me to a stop. I’m sorry? You don’t know anything about me, much less what I know and don’t know. At any rate, it pissed me off.
I’m a twenty-five year old college graduate, who works hard for nothing, and The Writer in me is ready to stand up and pay attention. I don’t deserve to be anyone’s bitch, much less the company that I work for.

I’ve decided it’s time to be honest, and its time to be honest with myself. I want to write for a living. I want to find the freedom in my job, and in myself to work hard and do what I love to do day in and day out. With no fear.

Maybe the ridiculous of this company is pushing me in the right direction – I am soo very close to just quitting my job and starting to write for a living.

If I were honest with my self, I would admit that I am wasting my time being responsible for once. Sometimes you have to be a little reckless to follow your dreams. I mean, who ever said that getting what you want was easy?

I have to remember that it’s not my job that defines me, it’s who I am and what I chose to do with my time here on earth that makes me who I am.

And it is my time to be honest with myself.

tampaI thought that I would make April a month of Confession Posts. Mostly Writing related, but this rant caught up with me tonight and needed to be let out. I know that there a lot of college graduates out there and people my age who feel the same. And we need to be heard and to support each other.

Look forward to Part 3 Confessions: How to Beat Writer’s Fear in a few weeks!

Any thoughts? Ideas? Rants of your own that need to be heard? Comment below! Writing is freedom! Let’s take advantage of it!

Part 1 Confessions: Struggling with Writer’s Fear

Something that I’ve been avoiding writing about for awhile now…

And that is about Fear…or, most importantly, about MY FEAR.

A writer’s fear. Yikes. A crippling phobia that leads to self doubt, blank pages and writer’s block. I am so worried about whether or not my writing will be good or not, and I don’t get anything written.

IMG_20140401_182813

If you all remember, back in August, I purchased Writer’s Market 2014 with much excitement and enthusiasm, all with the intention of moving myself forward on the path of freelancing and writing as a way to make a living.

I thumped the gigantic book on my desk and then stared at it apprehensively for a few minutes. (No lie.) With a deep breath, I managed to page through the first few pages, and then I pushed it aside, opened up Pandora and started listening to something soothing. Query letters? Submissions? Deadlines? Limits?

Words that didn’t seem intimidating before were suddenly hitting me in the face. Where was my inhaler again? Where was this all coming from?

So, I thought. And I thought some more.

All these questions buzzed through my head: How do I make the submission process, editing and proof-reading work for me? What are my goals? Do I have any? What will bring me satisfaction? What do I want to write and where do I want to send it to?

Wait a minute, self. Slooww down.

I need to keep constantly reminding myself: everyone has their own way of dealing with something. As writers, we should remember that each of us has our own style and that can be applied in all that we do. No one is the same, embrace it!

Also the most important thing right now: Write, Write, Write!  (<<<Something that I will keep reminding myself no matter what! How am I to succeed if I don’t try?)

In the next few days, I will be doing some of my own research to help counteract this weight on my shoulders, and on my chest. I will succeed as a writer. I just have to have the courage to face my own fears!

No April Fool’s jokes for me today, too much to do! Stay tuned for Part 2: My ways to Counteract Writer’s Fear!

Laundry, a menial chore – a nice journaling opportunity!

Moved to a new place in the last few months, and the building we are living in doesn’t have laundry on site, so every week or so I must make that dreaded trip to the laundromat. I hate doing laundry, and I hate laundromats, but the last time I brought my journal along and it gave me this somewhat amusing (if a bit depressing) journal entry:

ZZZZZ

3/5/14

I hate the sound of a laundromat. The way everyone’s laundry bumps up and down and goes every which-way, it makes me feel like there’s a hovercraft nearby, the rinsing and the swooshing, the quick, jagged vibrating of a laundry load full of jeans. The heavy slosh of an empty washer only half-full, only half used.

The dryer doors that fly open in mid-spin on a whim, flinging out their contents…be free undies…be free towels…be free…

Then there is the final rinse, the final spin, the heavy drone of a washer that bids you to keep waiting, groans and shudders, waiting….waiting…wait. One final spin, a heavy moan and then it shudders. It’s done.

How disturbing that washing clothes sounds like sex on paper, but it’s not like that at all.

Doing laundry is not sexy. It is the un-sexed, the final hangnail, the equivalent of having a migraine with a piercing light shining down on you.

It is like finding a stain on your favorite t-shirt, drumming your steering wheel in long lines of traffic, a fly buzzing in your ear, diarrhea, a sink full of dirty dishes, an open wound, the stink and the squelch of feet stuck in cold mud.

It is that raw, open feeling of words not said, of empty spaces, of regrets that come flying back in crowds of laughing, boisterous people. It’s like realizing you’ve forgotten something very important, and that dread of forgotten assignments…a pop-quiz, a failed class, the feeling of social paranoia. It is that trapped, dizzying realization that no one is coming to rescue you – life really comes with disappointments, heart ache and hurts.

And no one is going to rescue you from the overwhelming joyless feeling of living sometimes. Sometimes, all you can do is feel lost in the hullabaloo of it. Sometimes all you can do is look around hopelessly at the blank, wide-eyed, too-beautiful people and hope that they won’t notice that you might smell like prey to their eyes, that you might be that one person that might make this second of their lives a little more entertaining.

But ah, I digress – laundry. That menial chore that reminds you that there are other hopeless people in the world around you. You may think that you smell like roses most of the time, but in the end of it…eventually, all your clothes smell like shit. And that’s enough to bring dread to anyone.

Yeah, I really hate laundry. One day, when I’m rich and famous, I’ll hire someone to do it for me. But for now, it keeps me with the realization, and reminds me that no one is perfect – myself included.